Son being asked for employment favour by friends not very nice son

[Legselevens]

My son has worked his way up in a certain field that is quite specialist. He has had to work very hard to get where he is. He was friends with my friends son for many years but as they reached teenage years, my friends son was not very nice to my son and he was sort of zoned out or excluded from that group of friends due to this one person. He got on with it and made new friends. However, he has now been approached and I have also by the mother and son. The son is after a job at my sons work and wants him to pull some strings. My first reaction was sod off but Aibu?

I'd advise him to do what I used to say:

'Oh you're applying. That's great! Unfortunately I don't have any power over the recruitment process, but I'm happy to answer any questions you have about the company that will help with your application or interview.'

This gives the impression you care, so if they DO get a job there you don't fall foul of them & don't have to put your own reputation on the line.

I've recommended someone once, for menial temp job & she still stuffed around. Since then I refuse to recommend anyone as their negative behaviour refected on me. People have nane dropped anyway & I've given an honest answer. Which isn't necessarily great.

Why on earth would you feel guilty?

Anyone with an ounce of common sense would only recommend someone for a job that they have worked with and seen perform well.

Actually I'd be going out of my way to make sure that they didn't get a job at my work. If asked by my employer I'd be giving the opposite of a positive review.

I sometimes get asked by previous colleagues if I can find them a job. If I didn't particularly rate them the answer is always the same.

'Really sorry, there are no suitable vacancies at present, if I hear of snything I'll let you know'

He would be best to be impartial, if he knows this person would be a great fit then it would be right to recommend him. Otherwise no.

This.

he is under no obligation to be impartial. I wouldn’t want to work in a job with a known a**hole.

The guy who wants the job can apply like anyone else if he thinks he will be a great fit then he will get the job on his own merit.

if I was your son I’d say, “tell him to apply the normal way, if he’s good enough he will get a job interview when something opens up. He can mention in the application he knows me.” Then if the company asked about him, I’d laugh and say my mum knows his mum and we knew each other in our teens and my recollection is he wasn’t a person I’d want to be around, not a team player.”

They seem like horrible people and user's to,I can't understand why you would be friwith his mother.I wouldn't even discuss your sons job with that woman as none 8f her business. Well done to your son for working so hard for everything he's achieved

Friends with

Absolutely no need to feel guilty OP. Do you think your DF felt equally as guilty when her DS was mistreating your DS?

Glad your DS has found the advice amusing too

I wouldn't help and I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

Agree- he’s a grown man in a professional role. You leave it up to him and your son says something wishy washy like’ we have no vacancies’.

However, this lad has also grown up too. It’s a shame everyone is judged forevermore by how they were as a teen

Ds surely gives them an honest opinion of the lad?
Job done.
Or no job!!
😀

"I'm afraid I can't help you with that."

is enough.