Hi
I've been a long time poster and some might remember the trials and tribulations I had with my boy who has Aspergers.
He is now 30 . He's an amazing, kind , sweet live and live bloke .
He moved to China 7 years ago for a girl he'd met on the internet, and they married 4 years ago.
They now live in a very remote spot and since covid hit all his expat friends left . He works from home . His wife has never worked and is completely under her mothers thumb . Her other doesn't like my son and tried to get her daughter to have plastic surgery to attract a wealthy Chinese man . My boy has weathered this for 7 years.
He recently came back to uk for a visit home (due to covid he hadn't been home for 3 years)
In his return he got stuck - he cannot get back into China . They've basically virtually closed the borders .
He has ended up in Thailand . He is planning to rent a place for a year , has a work visa and could get permanent residency in 3 years.
It a couple of hours plane journey from China .
He has explained to his wife that he cannot get back into China and has asked her to join him for a year in Thailand . She won't go.
I've honestly never seen him happier than he is now . He is t in a tourist area , but has made friends with some locals - they're teaching him Thai , they put him up and fed him and fixed his motor bike as he had broken down . They wouldn't take payment from him . They use Google translate to chat and they've welcomed him with open arms . He's using the cafe they work at as his co tact address for documents. The owner is. French guy and his daughter. Her child now calls him uncle . He's there all the time and they seem a lovely group of people , and he is so happy . It's like he has come back to life . He's gone rafting with them , he does deliveries for the cafe , and he loves the culture , he says they are so warm and welcoming and since his expat friends left China no one speaks to him there . He can't even get a hair cut in China - they won't entertain him as a westerner. It's a tiny village way down south and no other westerners live there .
He rang me last night - he'd been out with friends . He is so sad his wife won't join him but he can't get back into China even if he wants to . His wife could go to him - but she won't . She's never worked - he's paid for everything since she left uni .
She's basically given him two options -
Stay in Thailand, have friends and see her sometimes when the borders open
Or go back when the borders open and have no friends .
He's absolutely gutted .
My thoughts are he's made all the sacrifices so far and it's not unreasonable to ask her to try living in Thailand for a year - if she doesn't like it she could go home .
She won't .
He rang last really upset and said he thinks his marriage might be over .
I don't want him held over a barrel like this and I can tell he's absolutely loving Thailand . He's got his spark back .
He's living his absolute best life - he's absolutely fearless and always has been - also extremely gentle and is loving immersing himself in Thai culture and learning the language, loving the warm friendly people he's meeting.
He's absolutely torn . One of the employees at the cafe is a 30 year old woman with a disability, ( nothing major ) but her family disowned her as weak . She didn't go to school . She sounds amazing, the cafe owner took her under their wing and she's flourished . She clearly ( from the photos) he's sent likes him . He really likes her - he said 10 years ago he wouldn't have cottoned on but he's learning! He said he hasn't done anything in terms of this girl , but he admitted he really likes her and they're spending a lot of time together by the look of it .
I just want him to be happy . Do I tell him to go for it and live the life he wants ? His wife will absolutely not compromise.
I thought it got easier when they grow up !
He's been so supportive of me when me and his dad split . He's a real sweetheart.
Opinions please .