Please help . How do I forge ahead? I have recently been made a new grandma . My son and his girlfriend have moved closer so that she can have help with the baby when he works . He works from home . They are now equal distance from her parents and us . They have lived away for many many years and have always been an independent couple. My mum is going to turn 80 next year and since the baby has arrived has spoke about nothing but her mortality and how she isn't going to see him grow up . No one wants to think about a time where their mum is not around but I hear it all the time , My son has asked me if I can message his GF and not just him so she feels easier about speaking to me and asking for help . Well that's the background .
We are going away for four days and my mum has been bugging me about going to see the baby before I go . I wasn't going to but I was going to see him on my return with a little gift . All week she has kept on and on about have I arranged a time to visit before i go ? I said I would message them and see what time was convenient. Remembering my DS request I messaged his GF asking if we could pop over for 30 mins for a cuddle before I went on holiday as my DS nan was nagging me none stop about coming . I confided in her that I was worried about her talk of her mortality as it was worrying me . My thinking behind this was she may feel closer to me with me confiding about something personal . I got a nasty message from my son saying not to use nan as an excuse to want to visit , and not to send long and convoluted messages and just ask if I want to see the baby .
Its really upset me as that was not my intention. I'm only trying to be helpful but not over bearing , there for them but not in their faces , not intrude on their time as new parents but also show I'm a n interested and present grandparent . keep his nan happy and let her see the baby as much as she needs
What advise can anyone offer as I'm struggling to find the balance . I always upset someone no matter what I do