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Dd comming to.live with is after uni.. advice re what workwd for you. ..

27 replies

Chewchewaboogiw · 09/05/2022 20:03

Please may I have ýour advice re , and experiences of dc returning home after uni.
Dd has a partner at uni and has asked to come and live with us whilst she looks for a job. This means that partner will also be here quite a bit too. ( he actually lives nearby at his parents home but dd cant go there due to it being a v small house and ill health issues)
When dc come home for weekends etc ,i make their fave foods, get special treats in , bubble bath etc ,do a wash.. they come and be pampered and love it.
Now , I simply cant do this for an indeterminate period of time now dd is going to be living with us.

This is both financially ( energy bill will increase, food etc) ... as well as energy wise. Its nice and all very well for a weekend .. lovely but tiring. She is mature and is aware that we cant do this allmthe time.. but part of me knows adult d c can regress when ' home'.. i am concerned that it will be a big adjustment for her living independantly to at home with parents( will both slip into child and parenting roles or will she be the adult shw has become ?!) .. am concerned that we will get on her nerves as we are used to our own ways now. ( and dh is 62 )
Would it be good to lay out expectations ..
Like do yr own washing
Dont have long showers( we cant afford it.we are not charging her rent or food as want to support
Post uni).
I feel bossy but it is our home and i / we will also need time to.ourselves( she is friendly and likes company a LOT.. I want to be able to do walks with dh still etc ...am.unsure how much to adjust , what to expect, what is kind and reasonable??
Any thoughts on this transition ? Thank you.

OP posts:
Trafficjamlog · 11/05/2022 13:31

I'm expecting all my children to come home for at least 2-3 years after uni. I'd be astonished if they didn't. I'll charge them a few hundred a month and give it back them when they leave. I'd also ask them to do their own washing, let me know what we've run out of, keep their room tidy and let me know if they're not coming home so I can lock up. That's all. It's their home and I wouldn't want them feeling like a guest,

ivykaty44 · 11/05/2022 13:58

Well that great that you can afford to do that traffic, but for many people funds are going to be very tight. Adults living in many households will need to contribute to the gas and electric bills, along with water, council tax which are spiralling up in cost

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