What if she never comes back...

[Tiredandemotional1]

My DD is 27, only child and thinking of working abroad.
I'm devastated but can't tell her although she will know how I feel. I know I've done my job she's a grown woman and I'm being totally utterly selfish. I have no other family to speak of, nor many friends.
My fear is she'll never come back, what if she has gc and I'm not in their lives.
I know I'll get blasted on here because I'm being needy but I'm just beside myself because she's all the family I have.

That must be incredibly upsetting. Are you close enough that if she settle somewhere you could go and live there?

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it must be very hard.

I was your daughter just over a decade ago. Moved to the other side of the world, and stayed. Although I never really intended to return.

I now have a husband and a child. My parents have a great relationship with both. We Skype weekly, and share photos and videos on WhatsApp.

Nothing beats seeing someone in person. I'm sure my mum would much prefer to see me and her grandson more frequently. And god knows, it would have been such a relief to have someone around that could occasionally have helped out, especially in the first year when everything was so bloody tough, but you make do however you can.

Covid made things much harder. Previously it would have just been a 24 hour flight away (and obviously the cost of that!!) but we weren't able to visit for 2 years. That sucked.

DDs only 12 but I've been a single parent since day 1 and the idea of her moving a way is heartbreaking, although would mean I've done a good job.

There are so many modes of communication and travel is certainly easier if not more expensive than years ago, you'll still see each other.

I was your daughter 28 years ago. I was an only child.
I went to university away from home, stayed in that area, then came to Italy.
I saw my mum loads more once I lived in Italy than when I lived in the UK. Then it would be a weekend a couple of times a year. Living in Italy and teaching I went "home" every summer for 2 months.
Once my daughter was born my mum came out to visit lots.
I'm.sure my Mum would have liked me to live nearer. But she gave me wings and I'll be doing the same for my only child.

Thank you, I hear so much about people not planning stayng but they end up doing so. Right now that's distressing me but I want her to get happy it's not about me.

You can move wherever she settles later on if need be. I'd love it if my parents came to live where I am! Settled away due to job opportunities, better schooling etc but boy would I adore them here.