Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Contacting adult child when they're ill.

44 replies

WTFmum · 27/04/2022 21:28

Would you ring your adult child if they got covid? Or is everyone just blasé about it now? Am I wrong to expect my mum to call me to see if I'm OK?

OP posts:

Lindy2 · 27/04/2022 22:25

When I had Covid my mum wanted to check I was ok (it was before the vaccinations). She didn't want to disturb me if I was too tired or sleeping so we agreed I'd phone her every other day, at a time that was ok for me, to let her know how I was.

My brother, who doesn't go in for much communication, sent WhatsApp messages.

My cousin delivered a food parcel of goodies.

Even with vaccinations Covid can be very nasty. I'm sorry your mum isn't caring for you like she should. I hope you have some other friends around you to look out for you and you feel better soon.

tuliplover · 27/04/2022 22:29

Yes of course I'd call.

SadButTheTruth · 27/04/2022 22:31

Currently have it and am receiving daily texts from my dad asking if my kids and husband are ok (!) and nothing from my mum who I would usually speak to daily. I have a horrible sore throat and basically can’t speak and she doesn’t text, but I am really hurt at the lack of interest from her. He’s in touch because he doesn’t want his grandchildren to catch it, very little enquiry about me at all. I know it’s because they’re old and don’t get it but it still hurts, especially when you already feel like crap literally.

HoobleDooble · 27/04/2022 22:39

Mine rang or texted me at least once a day to tell me to rest, when I was trying to rest but kept getting woken up by someone ringing or texting me! I honestly just wanted to be left alone. She's on her own and spends most of the time thinking of things to fill the few minutes I have to spare between work and looking after my child, I do love her, but occasionally have to pretend to lose my phone for a couple of days just to get a break.

Divagal · 27/04/2022 22:39

I think it's fair enough to want your mother to phone you but maybe you need to tell her it would be nice if she phoned you to ask how you are. We mothers sometimes can't do right for doing wrong. My son, in his 50s, would probably tell me to stop fussing!

AzazaelsFury · 27/04/2022 22:39

I would call or text my kids if they were sick with anything. I have one adult child who doesn't live with me I text every day and they video call me a few times a week. I have another adult child living in a granny flat on our property and when he was sick recently I text him to check in (didn't go over as I didn't want to catch it).

PrincessPaws · 27/04/2022 22:41

In my 40s, mum text every other/every few days when I had covid to see how I was doing. Any more than that would have been a bit suffocating (and my husband would let her know if there is anything to be concerned about)

DramaAlpaca · 27/04/2022 22:43

DS is 28 and recovering from covid atm. I've been messaging him every day to check in and see if he needs anything, and he calls me every few days. I wouldn't expect my elderly parents to contact me if I'm unwell, we don't have that sort of relationship.

PrincessPaws · 27/04/2022 22:44

For context, I spent a week in bed feeling awful - ANYONE messaging more than that would have felt suffocating to me at the time

Pegasaurus · 27/04/2022 22:44

Yes I'd call/text daily, especially if they were in their own, until they were better.

Hope you're OK OP

Giveitall · 27/04/2022 22:46

For me it was the other way around. My daughter wasn’t much in touch with me to ask how I was. I had it quite bad.
We have a great relationship so it didn’t overtly concern me. It’s just the way we are. We’re out for a ladies day out on Saturday so alls well.

bloodywhitecat · 27/04/2022 22:48

I'd check in with my DD (and my DS) frequently if they were ill, in fact tonight I advised DD to call 111 which she did and is now back home with her husband armed with steroids and antibiotics and strict instructions (from the doctor she saw) to call 999 if she gets any worse.

Happymum12345 · 27/04/2022 23:04

I’m sorry. It must be very hard to be poorly & that your mum hasn’t been in touch. I think knowing that you wouldn’t treat your own dc like that can make it feel even harder.
could you let your dm know you’re hurt? I hope you feel better soon.💐

Ccharlotte · 27/04/2022 23:28

Mine didn't call, she sent a few messages alright. Tbh I was way too exhausted to talk to anyone on the phone.

I don't live alone though, and have help nearby.

Original poster

WTFmum · 28/04/2022 06:07

@Ohbuggeritsme Thank you for being so kind!

@SadButTheTruth I totally hear you! I hope you feel OK.

OP posts:

Weatherwax13 · 28/04/2022 06:18

I'm sorry you feel so poorly and sad at the same time. Your mother does sound very cold.
My youngest had covid. We messaged daily and I organised groceries and painkillers to be delivered.
I think that's a normal amount of involvement because he's still my kid and I felt sorry for him.
I don't blame you for having a pity party.
My late mother used to make me feel very rejected at times. It's hurtful.
I hope you feel better soon.

sonjadog · 28/04/2022 06:24

Mine didn't, but she is weird about me having any health issues. She seems to go into complete denial about it any time I am ill and acts like I am making it up. But she isn't a cold person otherwise, so it isn't part of a general pattern of coldness.

SadButTheTruth · 29/04/2022 20:23

@WTFmum How are you feeling? Much improved here, hope you’re the same.

Original poster

WTFmum · 30/04/2022 06:10

Hi, glad you're feeling better! I am just absolutely full of cold. Can't stop sneezing.

Still no phone call but a couple of one line texts. It's so isolating, isolating, you'd think that a phone call might be nice, to speak to another adult. Oh well, I really need to stop having even any expectations it seems.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2