London commuter belt-kids stay closer?

[Brightsideisbetter]

We currently live in the London commuter belt (takes me an hour door to door to get to Holborn). Myself and husband grew up in the SW (3 hours + to London).

Now in our 40’s we note that nearly all our friends happen to have grown up in the commuter belt and as a result are within 30 mins of their parents now (having gone off to live in various cities and travelling etc but they have all returned home in late 30’s to have kids and set up home near their parents).

We wish our family were closer and contemplating moving back closer to them. However my husband notes that in 15 years time will history repeat itself? In the future are our kids more likely to be stay closer to is us if we stay in the (lovely) market town we live in. I do also remember growing up rurally and I could not wait to leave!

What are your experiences?
Thanks

Mine are now back from uni in SW and want to stay London based, as are all their friends. On the other hand neither dh nor I went back to our parental home after uni.

I assume it will depend on what jobs they get. London commuter belt is the most expensive place to live. We love in a commuter town but are teachers and work locally. We can only afford it because DH got on the housing ladder 20 years ago when property was more affordable. If my DC became teachers or nurses etc there is no way they could afford a house in our town

I was born in commuter belt Land and grew up there. (Born in Epsom, grew up around Woking and also lived in Godalming and Farnham)

I left Surrey when I went to university and never moved back.

My grandparents retired to Dorset. My brother and I ended up there too. My parents had a holiday home in Devon, decided they preferred it to Surrey and sold up in Surrey to stay in Devon permanently. I am now in Devon too.

All of my stepsiblings stayed in the home counties though. Definitely depends on the circumstances. There's absolutely no way I'd be able to afford to live in the house I grew up in.

I think a lot depends on career and where the opportunities are. I grew up in the commuter belt with a stint in the ME for a few years, then went to Wales for uni. Came back to live with with parents, started work in the City, met DH who also grew up near me and we stayed in the area.

Theoretically I could do my job anywhere, DH would lose a chunk of salary if we moved away but cost of living would be lower. We did think about moving out but parents are ageing and we're only ten minutes from both sets at the moment. If we were further away when they start needing more support it would be a nightmare so it's on hold for now.

Thank you for all sharing your views.

Both places are lovely to live so I think that we are in a lucky position…..

I live in a part of the country where levelling up is very much needed. Many of our bright youngsters leave to go to London or other big cities for jobs, the only ones who return after uni are those who are working in the NHS or teaching.
The problem my adult DCs have compared to the children of friends who live in the SE is that their parents can downsize and help them onto the property ladder where parents here and in other cheaper parts of the country often can't

I grew up in the home counties and none of my friends or siblings returned back there after uni (unless living in the parental home - some friends still do!). I think your experience/data set is not necessarily typical. Realistically, affording a family home in the commuter belt is not going to be easy to do for the next generation at all.

Conversely, my aunt and uncle moved to the SW when my cousins were young and they have all returned after uni and travelling, citing the cost of living and lifestyle.

As someone who wishes my dc could be growing up with the experience of a wider family network, I wouldn't be missing out on that based on whether that's an area they might want to live in as adults. The variables are never ending and who knows what could happen?! I'd be basing my decision on concrete factors that will affect the next 5-10 years instead.

I grew up in the commuter belt, moved to uni and never moved back. We don't live near either set of parents.

Friends I grew up with are at most 50% left in London. The ones that didn't stay in London vary in distance from Australia to outer bits of home counties.

Thanks, yes all good points. If we move home we would have both sets of family near by- an hour to 30 mins away depending on what they are…my gut tells me that being close the grandparents and cousins would be such a lovey addition to their up bringing. I was lucky to have that growing up…and like @CarbonelCat says who can predict the future right now. The world has changed so massively in the last few years maybe remote working will change people having to gravitate to big citys for work?

Interestingly the cost of housing in Dorset has rocketed and it’s not that out of step with the SE in places. It’s crazy and surely has to stop rising at some point?!

Yes, that is true re prices unfortunately - there's not the big gradient there used to be at all.

I personally would go with your gut and enjoy the here and now and near future of having wider family support and connection and worry about your adult DC decisions when the tone comes. You can always move to be nearer them when they settle if that becomes a priority.