I'm just looking for some insight from other folk.
What it is, is, my father who is 51 now (I'm his oldest at 30, and he has 9 other children) 5 of my brothers and sisters don't have anything to do with him. And the younger 4 live in his home.
Anyway, just recently his mum died, and he was obviously emotional about this. And called me while I was at work at 1am to call me derogatory names and shout at me. For absolutely no reason, I understood he was upset but I hardly know the man, and he hardly knows me.
He calls me occasionally when he is drunk and wants to have some sort of heart to heart.. Might I add that growing up he was quite mean to me and the courts ruled in my mums favour when I was 8 and I didn't have to have contact with him anymore..
Fast forward to my early teens and I moved down the road from him - unbeknownst to my mum.
So I tried to form some sort of relationship with him. Since then it has always been an awkward one, he regards himself highly and the women in his life are clearly not in the same league (ex wives and children included)
I had hard teenage years at home, my mum tried her best but she has an addictive personality and this was an issue for her. I ended up smoking pot when I was a teenager until I was around 19 and found it troubling to stop when I did but overcame that with no issues.
Anyway, the past 2 years have been an eye opener for me, I stopped smoking cigarettes, I don't drink alcohol unless it's a special occasion and I just go through day to day dedicating myself to my DS.
My father called me last night, again at 1am just as I was going to bed for another hour and a half conversation constantly talking about my mum who left him when I was 2. It's the same song he sings everytime he's drunk. I'm sick of it. I don't have any contact with my mum not since October 2020 because she attacked me and that was the last straw.
My father said to me last night he thinks I'm a 'girl' who is reaching out to him to form a relationship. When in actual fact this irritates me because I'm not a girl, I'm a 30 year old woman.
I am quite good at distancing myself from the ones who hurt me and find it much easier as I've got older.
What I'm trying to get at is, would you bother trying to form a relationship with a father like this, or would you just count your chickens and call it a day. I wouldn't be so bothered if he called when he was sober and had a normal conversation, but everytime it's heated on his end because he's intoxicated and feels he is best thing since sliced bread.
He's only met my DS once and that was when he was around 8 months old.
I'm supposed to be visiting on Sunday and I don't know if I should take my son there, he's mean to his small children who are all under 6.
Does anyone else have a parent like this and if so how did you approach the situation.. :/sorry if that's a lot of babbling on there's just so much more to the father daughter relationship that I feel I'm rambling on a bit.