Empty nest all over again

[Rosiekitwe]

I brought my sons to UK as a single mother from Zambia in the noughties. Like many on here, I was heartbroken when they left for Uni and other adventures on their gap years. Last year they all returned to UK and rented a house together and found jobs. I was overjoyed. However, they have all decided this life is not for them and are now all leaving again to go back to Zambia, with jobs in Canada and elsewhere in Europe. In a way, it is worse than the first time round. I am literally walking around my house in a daze, looking at all the 'stuff' they have returned because they do not need it anymore. The house keys they have returned, the home wares they were so proud of last year when they set up their own 'nest'.. I feel utterly devastated as this time round, I know it is for good. Heart broken all over again. How could this still be? They are 24, 26 and 31!

How hard for you that they all left at once.
My youngest is moving out next week - for the 4th time! It never gets any easier.
He unexpectedly came back to live here for six months and it's been a joy. I will miss him so much and he is only moving 80 miles away, I feel for you that yours have gone overseas.

I feel your pain, it’s so much harder the second time. When my eldest moved out for uni at 18 he never really moved home again. He spent most of his holidays in the city he was at uni in because he was working there. The other two moved out over the years but lockdown brought the eldest back. If he was going to work from home he might as well be here where there was more space. We live rurally and he could go for walks etc. When he finally moved back to the city I was devastated, far worse than when he or the others left before. I moped around for ages looking at his room, the sock he left in the washing basket, his favourite cereal in Tesco!

It did get better but I think it’s the unexpected nature of it, whereas when they head off to college you prepare for it. It must be so much harder for you having them so far away. Get saving for lots of lovely visits!