Has anyone got advice for me? Young adult kids hate each other at the moment

[NaturalBlondeYeahRight]

21 and 20 DD’s one at work one at uni. They are going through a phase (I hope ) of hating each other for the last 6 months. Had a meltdown last night while they were both out (embarrassing) and both think the other one is wrong. It’s going to be a tough Xmas. Honestly one is a trickier person as a general rule but they are both acting terribly. I’m hoping that it’s an adjustment to becoming adults but I don’t know what to do. Ignore it? Give advice? Move out myself 😀
I joke but I genuinely don’t know what to do and would love if anyone has been through this and come out the other side. It’s awful to see two lovely people be so horrible to each other.

I hated all my sisters and vice versa over the years, some siblings get over it and grow closer others don’t. Not much you can do unfortunately. No point in getting in the middle. They’ll work it out

Thank you for your reply, it’s so hard to see them struggling but I think you are right.

They will grow out of it so don’t fret the big picture. Have a think about how they can get space around Christmas, and then sit them down explain your suggestions for space and lay down some very firm ground rules of behaviour so they don’t fuck up christnas. Lay on the guilt.

If they do behave badly retreat upstairs with gin immediately.

Yep, don't get involved between sisters. Not worth the drama.

Tensions between my two DSDs (both early 20s) have got much better since DSD2 has acquired a serious BF. DSD1 would be embarrassed to behave like she did at times previously in front of the BF. It's really changed the dynamic.

My DDs are at each others throats - one is 21 and the other is 19. There is an agenda of competition- who is achieving most - and attempts to put the other down, disguised as concern. It's difficult not to get involved. The younger one in particular is vile to her older sister and cannot accept that she is very different.

Try to stay neutral or stay out it but point out bad behaviour.

My sister and I were constantly at each other's throats when we were still living together. It took a few years of living apart and little to no contact to want to see each other. We're in our 30's now and I have two children, we're very close and she is a great Aunty, I'd say leave them to it for now

My oldest two are like this. I’ve said I don’t care if they get in but I won’t have insults and rudeness in the house.

My sister was awful to me when we were teens, she was 2 years older and decided she hated me and made my little quite miserable at home. Now we are both adults and around all our family she acts like we're really very close and makes comments about how she can't believe we wasted all that time hating each other and makes out it was this normal two way thing, which IMO it wasn't, I never hated her or treated her how she did me. Anyway, when we're alone she is still the same as she was back then but to a lesser degree, doesn't care what I have to say, makes digs at me, rude and standoffish. It's weird.

You don’t know what it means to me to know that at least I’m not alone in this even though it continues. Thank god they’ve acted ‘normally’ with family around but it goes back to hostility. Not sure how they will work it out but I suppose I will have to hope for best. Most of my close friends and family have a combo of sexes which seems like it doesn’t get quite so emotional.

Siblings don't have to like each other, they don't have to be close, they don't have to be friends. They are people who are allowed to make their own choices. However, what they are not allowed to do is be rude, unkind or bad mannered either to each other, or more especially, to you. In your place I would sit them down with a cup of tea (or a bottle of wine) and spell that out.