So me and my sister are very close (or at least I like to think so) and over the last year or so there has been quite a lot of conflict in the family about various different things. My Uncle is in prison right now and a lot of them are in denial that he is guilty of what he did. My Aunt's husband cheated on her with my sister's best friend, and although they have stayed together, it's clear that she's now emotionally abusing him but he's being to stubborn for anyone to help him. And she's also been terrorising my sister's best friend by vandalising her car, stealing from her, all sorts. So I made a comment about her one time and my grandmother came down on me like a ton of bricks for it, and went into some completely irrelevant stuff about my sister and her best friend, saying that the photos she posts on social media are to provocative and that she deserves to be r*d (I despise that word) for it. She was no Mum to my Mum and she used to beat my Grandad so I've never really had a good relationship with her. I went to see her with my Mum a few weeks after that and admitted that although I stand by the opinion I expressed, the time and place I made the comment at was wrong so for that I apologised. She also apologised so we had a hug and that was that. Then my sister told me that one of my other Aunt's boyfriends had been sending her sexually explicit messages (baring in mind she was just 15/16 at the time). I chose not to confront him over that as it had already stopped and he had already lost his job over it, so it had pretty much already gone as far as it could. But I walked past their house one day and they were in their garden. She tried to say hello to me but I ignored her (if you ask me, she's as bad as him for staying with him, she has a 12 year old daughter). I mentioned it to my Mum and she yelled at me for ignoring her, saying that I don't have a reason to. I just let her say what she had to say and then left it as I couldn't be bothered to have an argument.
Because of all this my sister point blank refuses to talk to any of the 8 of them (the 9th sibling is our Mum) and the grandmother. So as you can imagine, she was pretty damn upset when she found out that my Mum was having anything to do with her Mum again. And to be honest I don't blame her one bit for being upset. We kept this to ourselves.
Up until this point, I hadn't heard a peep from the grandmother (the argument was over a year before this, and when we [sort of] made up she promised to make more of an effort to be my Nan). After a few months I just gave up and told myself I was never going to speak to her again. Me and my Mum went to a family member's funeral a few weeks ago and didn't expect to see my grandmother there, but did. When I finished writing in that book where you write a goodbye message, I asked my Mum who was next and I'm sure you can guess who she said to give it to. Up until that point at the funeral it was obvious that she was trying to avoid me but I didn't really have a lot of choice but to just go and put it in front of her. So I did, and she looked at me with the most awkward look on her face, and asked me how I was. Part of me wanted to ignore her and walk away, but it was the wake of a funeral, it's hardly the time or the place to have an argument. So I just said I was fine and eventually the conversation just flowed to the point where we had been talking for hours. I've always been very close to her (my grandmother) brother and his wife, they brought my mum up and I've always considered them my grandparents. So I stay with them very often and one night they were going to see her so I decided to go with them. My Mum knows that I've been going to see her and also knows that my sister doesn't know. If my sister found out she would disown me just like she has most of the rest of the family (which as I said before, I honestly don't blame her for). It's obvious that my mum resents my sister for disowning them and that she doesn't like the fact that I've been considering her offer for me to move out and house-share with her. So now part of me feels like my mum would tell my sister that I've been going to see my grandmother just to stop me from moving in with her, because she doesn't think I'm ready to move out.
Sorry for the long post, but any ideas as to what to do?