How do you do Christmas with adult children who live with you?

TreasuredMim · 2021-10-20T16:41:36+00:00

Two DC, mid 20s, living with me. Just the 3 of us. If you have adult DC living with you what do you do on Christday day to make it different from any other? We'll have a Christmas lunch which we'll all help cook, presents, maybe a film. IAnd they say that'll be enoughh. In knoww it's not my job to occupy them but what could we do to gadd some Christmas fun

VienneseWhirligig · 20/10/2021 18:10

Me and DS (early 20s) still stick to the old traditions from when DH was alive. Stocking opened on my bed, then presents downstairs opened alternately between us, Christmas music on while we have a cup of tea/coffee then we get showered and drive to my parents for the day. Usually stay over there.

PreparationPreparationPrep · 20/10/2021 22:53

I'm not in your situation but can offer some suggestions
Do you have family elsewhere - video calls.
Walks / dog walk
Would you spend an hour or two volunteering at homeless lunch centre as a family of 3.
Games

PreparationPreparationPrep · 20/10/2021 23:02

OP a suggestion for you -
Every year my friend's mum would have Christmas breakfast with a group of friends. They would take it in turns to host. My friend and her brother would be at home Preparing and making Xmas dinner with the grandchildren. Her mum would usually roll in at lunch time drunk and merry, and then sleep it off and wake up in time for evening fun and Xmas dinner lovingly cooked by her children.

Strangevipers · 20/10/2021 23:31

Have a few drinks and play monopoly - either does amazing well or you all argue and blame someone for cheating and then you can ignore each-other all night

Mossstitch · 20/10/2021 23:47

Think yourself lucky my three, all adults insist on playing board games and I'm not talking scrabble but really complex nerdy ones that can go on for hours😴 as the eldest flies in and stays for a few days this is every night not just Christmas day😭 only thing gets me through it is wine🍾🥂 and love😍

namebunny · 20/10/2021 23:52

Watching! We have no family so Xmas is just me Dp and 2 teens . Find it soo stressful cos it’s utterly dull. Presents telly dinner. How can it be fun?

Original poster

TreasuredMim · 23/10/2021 04:42

23:02PreparationPreparationPrep

OP a suggestion for you -
Every year my friend's mum would have Christmas breakfast with a group of friends. They would take it in turns to host. My friend and her brother would be at home Preparing and making Xmas dinner with the grandchildren. Her mum would usually roll in at lunch time drunk and merry, and then sleep it off and wake up in time for evening fun and Xmas dinner lovingly cooked by her children.

This is my favourite so far

OP posts:

Avarua · 23/10/2021 06:33

Volunteer

Dozer · 23/10/2021 06:49

In that story, I don’t understand ‘with the grandchildren’. Was it that the friend’s mum was a grandparent, with visiting adult DC?

If so, I think that’s a different situation for Xmas than OP’s.

Keladrythesaviour · 23/10/2021 06:59

@namebunny

Watching! We have no family so Xmas is just me Dp and 2 teens . Find it soo stressful cos it’s utterly dull. Presents telly dinner. How can it be fun?

Our Christmas was always nuclear family and it was wonderful! We aren't even into games etc, it's just a lovely day to enjoy company and chill and eat whatever you like! Music on, watch what you want, read a book, go for a family walk if that's your thing. Drink fizz for breakfast and potter in the kitchen. As it's only 4 of you the meal is easy to do (like a posh roast!) so doesnt have to be overwhelming. We just buy special bits of food to snack on. Take an afternoon nap etc. Just generally enjoy each others company without having to worry about timings and schedules etc. The idea of a big family Christmas used to horrify me. We didn't have to get dressed out of pyjamas if we didn't want to! We've got partners now so slightly bigger but still usually just 6 of us (no children yet) and follows the same pattern.

PreparationPreparationPrep · 23/10/2021 09:14

@Dozer

In that story, I don’t understand ‘with the grandchildren’. Was it that the friend’s mum was a grandparent, with visiting adult DC?

If so, I think that’s a different situation for Xmas than OP’s.

Yes that right - grandchildren visiting with parents both lone parents but all live within a 15 min drive. And all stay for a few days over Xmas. But does it make a difference?. the idea that Op is out for the morning having a nice time her adult children prepare the meal which would give them more fun to do it themselves and she returns to join them. I am looking forward to doing something like this one year. My friend mum could also drink a lot though - they were a group of about 6 academics/writers - and we would tease them for their annual champagne Xmas breakfast!

stayathomer · 23/10/2021 09:19

My answer to every Christmas question is always board games or card games!!!

Original poster

TreasuredMim · 25/10/2021 07:22

Had forgotten about card games. Had so much fun with my family and a pack of cards when younger. Remember the added excitement of betting with pennies or matches. Not sure what a child was supposed to do with a pile matches she'd won but it didn't matter. Happy days...

OP posts:

namebunny · 29/10/2021 00:09

Keladrythesaviour
namebunny
Watching! We have no family so Xmas is just me Dp and 2 teens . Find it soo stressful cos it’s utterly dull. Presents telly dinner. How can it be fun?
Our Christmas was always nuclear family and it was wonderful! We aren't even into games etc, it's just a lovely day to enjoy company and chill and eat whatever you like! Music on, watch what you want, read a book, go for a family walk if that's your thing. Drink fizz for breakfast and potter in the kitchen. As it's only 4 of you the meal is easy to do (like a posh roast!) so doesnt have to be overwhelming. We just buy special bits of food to snack on. Take an afternoon nap etc. Just generally enjoy each others company without having to worry about timings and schedules etc. The idea of a big family Christmas used to horrify me. We didn't have to get dressed out of pyjamas if we didn't want to!
We've got partners now so slightly bigger but still usually just 6 of us (no children yet) and follows the same pattern.

Thanks for that!usually it’s ok, but I always stress it’s going to be like any other Sunday.I think because Dp was pretty seriously ill, he spent a couple of years being super down. I don’t know, it feels like everyone else in the world has loads of mates and jolly japes. You are right and I will get some tasty unusual nibbles and a log fire, and it will be nice 😀
Thanks!

Mosky · 01/11/2021 14:18

It's not the same as any other day because no-one is at work and no-one has any other activities or plans outside the house.
We do much the same as when they were little because they insist on it!
Stockings opened in our bed.
Big lunch.
Walk.
Board games, always Ticket to Ride plus any new ones.

Last year there were just the four of us as we didn't have any family visit and it was fab, very relaxed.

MadMadMadamMim · 01/11/2021 14:27

We walk the dogs on the beach. Usually before lunch.

After lunch there are board games (slightly tipsy players often). We do play cards as well. They also love to get the Wii out and play various silly games on it. Ten pin bowling is a favourite as are the old Raving Rabbits silly games. I am very good at chucking a cow, for example.

I like the fact that people drift in and out of the kitchen if they feel like tea/supper or not. I'm prepared to cook a big lunch for about 2pm ish and after that you're on your own.

chesirecat99 · 01/11/2021 15:06

Pretty much the same as when they were little.

We do stockings first thing, then a leisurely late breakfast. We all do our bit peeling veg, assembling trifle for the evening's dinner etc then head off for showers and getting dressed up. The stockings usually have something in them to keep everyone occupied until lunch eg a new card game, lock picking kit, computer game, books etc

Lunch is canapes followed by a walk along the river and a stop at a riverside pub for a drink. Then we open the tree presents, taking it in turns while the turkey is cooking. We might watch a film before dinner.

Then we have dinner with personalised crackers. We usually play games around the table after the main course with a break before pudding/cheese, chocolates etc.

Splitting the presents into stockings, tree presents and cracker presents makes the day more fun. It's not about the gifts but it gives the day a structure that makes it feel different from just a Sunday roast IYSWIM? The same with playing games. We like to dress up but dressing down and wearing PJs all day works just as well.

hiredandsqueak · 01/11/2021 15:12

I have adult children living at home and more living in their own homes. What happens here is that they all and dgs and exh come here and we pretty much do the same as we did when they were smaller. Presents stockings Christmas lunch and boardgames. It's my birthday as well so the dc want to be here for that where I really wouldn't mind if they didn't and we could forget about Christmas.