Dd moving abroad for her dream job - how to manage her wobble?

[StrongArm]

Dd (21) has been offered her dream job abroad and has decided to take it. I am, on the face of it, absolutely delighted and proud of her. She worked so hard to get it. She'll be based in different parts of Asia mostly - so will generally be 8 ish hours ahead and probably a day's travel away!

I work full time and she will be working too so I imagine we will only be able to catch up on weekends because of the odd time difference.

Dd is starting to have a minor wobble about the distance, missing her first Xmas (the job starts beginning of December), not being able to call and just have a chat.

I'm trying to be reassuring - we are doing a big Xmas before she goes with her brother, have said that of course we can speak even if it's an odd time at night etc.

If anyone else's kids have moved abroad - is there anything else you have done?

Just seen you didn't get any other replies for this, so thought I'd reply even though our situation was a bit different. DD moved abroad aged 18 to study and has since lived in three other countries, and did work and travel in the US/Canada.
I think she's needed a lot more support - emotional and practical - than the average 18year old student, but it has meant she's achieved a huge amount. The difference with your situation is that your DD is very far away, the huge time difference, and a very different culture.
Just keep on telling her she can do it if she's wobbling. You believe in her, it's normal to have doubts etc. Always be available for WhatsApps and video chats, even if at weird times (I mean 11 at night rather than 3 in the morning). Send lots of 'care packages' filled with favourite foods, bits and pieces, photos etc. We always send an advent calendar this time of year, so it has plenty of time to arrive by 1 December. Do a long video chat on Xmas day of everyone opening presents to each other. Do encourage her to socialise and make friends there, and if she phones in tears one day full of 'I can't do this, I want to come home', be understanding and sympathetic but don't say 'of course darling, we'll see you on the next flight'. On one occasion when DD was really down in the dumps I actually flew out to her for a few days, but that was within Europe and pre-Covid - it's going to be tougher with it not being an option for you. Ultimately it's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for all of us, but very much worth it.

Thanks @RuleOfCat that's v reassuring

She has been away for university but you're right, it's just the distance that is starting to freak her out. I did remind her that in all the years she was away, she didn't once have to come home for any emergency or crisis. She managed all issues herself though we did talk a lot!

She's now found a few groups on the internet for people her age working abroad and I'm hoping that chatting to other women out there might give her a bit of confidence before she goes!

(She was away in the UK not abroad for university just in a different city. Well done for getting your dd through it all!)

@StrongArm

Thanks *@RuleOfCat* that's v reassuring

She has been away for university but you're right, it's just the distance that is starting to freak her out. I did remind her that in all the years she was away, she didn't once have to come home for any emergency or crisis. She managed all issues herself though we did talk a lot!

She's now found a few groups on the internet for people her age working abroad and I'm hoping that chatting to other women out there might give her a bit of confidence before she goes!

She sounds like she's doing as well as can be expected right now - it really is a lot to take on at that age, and a wobble is so normal. When DD was doing work/travel in Canada her placement went very pear-Shaped at one stage and she was left alone in a small town overnight, nine hours away from us. We were actually terrified for her but we just had to pretend we were calm and give her the 'you can do this' morale boost - and she did, she found another placement the following day. So if your DD doesn't end up needing that kind of emotional support it's great, you just need to be there as a backup. We've found now that our DD is 23 she can essentially sort all the intercultural problems herself at the practical level, but she still likes having us there on WhatsApp to vent or talk things through.