adult daughter wedding

[VMVM]

My husband had an inappropriate friendship a couple years ago The Other Woman is a crazy floozy that was on a mission to replace me,she aggressively befriended my daughter she was sending her clothes to my house with my daughter calling and texting my husband all the time trash-talking me- doing everything she could to make me look bad to my family. I finally got enough and told her to leave and not come back but she still wouldn't stop. We had a horrible family blow up and my daughter took the other woman's side. Now my daughter is about to marry the other woman's son. My daughter has told me that the floozy is her friend and that I must accept the floozy and her deadbeat son if I want to be part of my daughter's life. When the floozy was coming on to my husband one of her missions was to have grandchildren with my husband which is part of why she has pushed the relationship with my daughter and her son. This wedding is not something I can support I don't condone this relationship at all but I love my daughter and I can't imagine not being part of my daughter's wedding. What do I do? Shouls I accept the floozy and her deadbeat son or do I alienate my daughter?

Go to the wedding. It's your daughter's wedding.

It's not about accepting or not accepting the other woman. It's about supporting your daughter. You don't need to interact with the other woman. You'll regret it if you don't go.

Christ that’s tricky! Hold your head up high and do it.

Yeah, don’t not go to your daughters wedding. That’s insane and you’ll never forgive yourself or be forgiven by your daughter. This woman can only become The Other Woman if your husband lets her. Cliché that it is, you don’t have an OW issue or a daughter issue.... you have a husband issue. He should be reassuring you that however much she throws herself at him, he isn’t interested and telling her this too.

And where is your husband in all this? Are you still with him? What was he doing whilst she was doing all this?

I don't think I'd go. Your adult daughter has made a choice to support the ow over her own mother. There are limits to my tolerance. I hope you ditched the husband too because unless there's an incredible backstory, your family sound awful.

I think Take A Break might be interested in a photo story for this one.

Go. Be nice to daughter and son in law.
Ignore the other, but must do the standard pics and polite greeting, as otherwise she would make a scene, and no way you can have that on your DD's wedding.
This is quite a horrible situation.
I do hope that your stupid husband sees and feels the mess HE has done! It is him OP, not the OW. She may not be friendly, but it was him who invited this shit to your life, and your DD's life, and the OW life, and your son in law. He may actually be nice, and love your daughter? Have you given him a proper chance?

You have to decide what matters most to you. The woman who your crazy floozy of a husband chose to be inappropriate with or a relationship with your daughter.

Your daughter will marry this man no matter what you say or do. You can either be in your daughter and any future grandchildrens lives or you can prioritise your hatred for this woman that turned your husband's head. You can't have both.

So.

How important is your daughter to you, basically. 🤷‍♀️

It sounds like a horrible situation. If you can forgive your husband for cheating on you with OW then you are obviously very good at forgiving and putting a brave face on it.

I’d also be devastated if my own daughter had sided with her father and his affair partner against me. But you have obviously forgiven her too.

In your situation I would feel far more betrayed by my own husband and daughter than some random woman who owes me nothing . But that’s just me.

If you want to be there on your daughters wedding day , then why would you let random woman stop you. I assume that your daughter isn’t expecting you to socialise or get involved in wedding planning together.