Empty nest /Uni students

[Monica53]

Hi
Our only child Dd has headed back to Uni 4+hrs away from home and this time she’s taken herself, already the house is so quiet, yes I’ve got time to clear abs reorganise though I’m missing her already. My husband said think of it as a long holiday 😢. We’ve had a great summer , she’s worked all summer and we’ve had some
Lovely time together. I just feel so sad that she’s away again. 😢

We took DD1 down to university for the first time last week. It's hurt me far more than I expected, to be honest. Obviously, I was all smiles and enthusiasm as we helped her unpack, but when I hugged her goodbye it felt like I was leaving a part of my heart behind. And when we got home and her bedroom looked so tidy and bare, I confess I cried.

I know she's having a great time because she's good at sending messages and lots of photos with her and all her new friends. I think she's been Out Out 8 nights in a row! She sounds very happy and bubbly and that's exactly how I want her to be. But I miss her. I really miss her.

DD2 is still at home but she's always very busy with her friends, boyfriend and 2 jobs! And since she passed her test we see her even less. And, she'll be off to university next year anyway.

Am finding this so hard .. kids only been gone 2 days and running out of positive thoughts about my new life .. feel would give back all the freedom to do what I want for more time in family life prison! Miss their noise, humour, smell and just their presence when entrenched in their rooms .. feel a bit pointless.. quite odd as always felt I had a strong identity but did not realise how much it was wrapped up around 2 beautiful people ..

Identify so much. Blubbed a bit to my eldest dd tonight. She gets it, we're besties, I got used to her being away a few years ago and our relationship is still close and she spends time here visiting etc. I vowed to always keep her room as her room and it has kept her coming back quite often which is fab. She said a sweet thing "you don't need to reinvent yourself, you're mum, you'll always be mum, we love you, we'll always need you, especially when we have kids one day. You just have to fill the days and nights a bit more until you get used to the new normal" It was sweet, direct and I appreciate it. Feel proper sad still though. Feels like getting old just slapped me in the face!

When my DC left we agreed to skype every Sunday morning, we have been doing this for 10 years now, and I always feel I am a part of their life. We just hang out on a Sunday morning, sometimes deep chat and sometimes not. We swap the day if they are busy.

Well since our Dd went back to Uni , she’s messaged most days or FT - I’m pleased she feels she can move away from
Home town and spread her wings , breaks my heart still ….. though as she had a hard time through high school due to bullied by old friends and parents she’s done amazing snd spent GCSE years in room alone due to bullying … she’s done great …. Still
Could cry though

Dropped my dd a week ago, she's a bit older and has sn so wasn't certain she would every leave home (her first degree was from a local university and I dropped her on the way to work just like college). It feels odd coming home to an empty house after work - I used to pick her up on my way home before. We do know it's time but it's making us feel old being officially child free (other 2 already are away despite being younger)

Your words are making me cry. Dd has been gone 3 weeks and I'm past the point where I can pretend she's just gone on holiday. I miss her singing in the shower, the hustle and bustle of her coming and going, needing lifts, telling me about her day, showing me her new outfits, watching Bake off, cooking her favourite dinner, the smell of hair products wafting from her room. So many little things that I totally took for granted but now feel so precious.

We have a thriving family whatsapp group so are in contact a lot which helps (how did parents cope before that?!) but I miss her physical presence.

I'm hoping this is just a transition period and it will start to feel better soon

I felt flat when DD first went to university, then as she made new friends and started to do well I was much happier.

Her local friends have all moved on, and she doesn't have many people to pal about with at home, whereas she has a good social life and lovely, supportive friends at university.

I get upset when she rings me in tears about something, but I am used to her being away most of the time. She has just started her third year.

I just wanted to say that it does get easier, and the expression "you are only as happy as your unhappiest child" is so very true here.

I had always planned on getting a dog when my youngest left for Uni a couple of years ago.
It’s really worked out well.
I’ve still got something to look after.
My Dd says she has been replaced by a dog!