Ds is 20. He's at a good university, reading something academic and academically doing extremely well. But he is also severely dyslexic - not in the sense that he can't read or write, although he tends not to read and he finds it v difficult to write in anything but streams of consciousness - but in the sense that he cannot organise himself at all and finds every day tasks a real challenge. On top of this, he has serious mental health issues which mean he needs 2 weekly supervisions from a mental health professional to ensure he is taking his medication and that he is ok (he's on antipsychotics, he's either bipolar or schitzophrenic - they are not entirely clear at this point, if I were to hazard a guess, I would say bipolar).
I felt enormous joy at the fact that he had lasted his first year without a major incident but when he came home I was horrified to find out that he had seriously burned himself. Apparently he was cooking and someone gave him a fright and he managed to pour boiling oil on his arms and chest. The burns were horrendous. Luckily I had sent him off with a massive first aid kit and he had used that to treat himself, plus doing all the things he should do to treat a burn but what he didn't do, which he should have done given their size, was get help. He also didn't mention this to anyone.
He will now be permanently scarred. I also noticed he had stopped brushing his teeth. But he had done other things like his clothes washing, bed linen washing. He didn't apply for extra time in his exams but he said he would do this year - they sent a severely dyslexic person forms to fill in and he couldn't do it and didn't ask for help.
I've had a chat with him but I'm just not convinced how much goes in. He is desperate to be independent and good for him but this quest for independence seems to mean that he believes that asking for help is a sign of failure. I have told him that a sign of being an adult is actually knowing when you do need help and it's certainly not failure if he gets help but that struggling through on your own (like he did with the burns) is likely to cause him more problems than not!
Has anyone got any other tips for me that I can use with him so he understands that seeking help is no bad thing? I am a bit worried now that he hurts himself again doing something and doesn't tell anyone! He is so lucky those burns didn't cause an issue - they were absolutely enormous and it's only because he did look after them so well in the end that they didn't get infected!