Help buying DS a home - wwyd

[Millylovespuddles]

My husband and I are in the fortunate position of being able to buy our DS a house.
He has moved to a new area with his girlfriend of 2 years, she is starting a 3 year grad scheme and he started a job in the area a few months ago. He is 24.

I hate to think of the rent they will waste over the next few years. So, we have been thinking of possible options that might work.

• we buy a house for him/ them
• we give him a set amount every month to cover rent and allow him to save for a deposit, then help out when they want to buy

I would appreciate any feedback from anyone who has done similar, what pitfalls are there, what do we need to be aware of? My DH used to work in banking, and is keen to make sure a loan agreement would be in place. This sounds sensible, but I would worry the DSs girlfriend would feel insecure if that was suggested. DH however says it is the only sensible option as nobody can tell how their relationship will be in 5-10 years.

What would you do if you had the opportunity?

Thanks

It's true that there's no knowing where their relationship is going, but it's also true that parents providing financial support with significant "string attached" is very likely to sour both your DS's relationship with you, and possibly also his relationship with his girlfriend too. You must be careful not to seem to be trying to control his decisions.

He's just started a new job - what is his likely career trajectory? The "job for life" doesn't really exist any more and so this may not be clear. If the girlfriend's graduate trainee scheme is likely to set her on a high-flying career path she could well end up needing to move house at least a couple of times in the next 5 years and if your DS's career is going to be in the kind of job that can be picked up anywhere then he is likely to change jobs each time she gets a new posting. In such circumstances buying a house now would be an unwelcome burden.

Rent isn't always "wasted" - having the flexibility to like somewhere for 6 months and then be able to move on is a useful thing for early-career professionals who don't want to be tied down yet.

Unless they are really struggling to make ends meet, don't subsidise them just now but put some money every month into a Lifetime ISA in your son's name, which can then be used for a mortgage deposit with some additional government contribution when the right time to buy comes around, which might not be for a few years. It would be fair enough to ask that when he buys, whether with this girlfriend or another future one if this relationship doesn't turn out to be "the one" then your contributions can be ring-fenced in the deeds to be specifically part of his share of the property they buy.

@KihoBebiluPuteHe thanks for your reply. We have just spent a lovely few days with him and had lots of chance to discuss such matters.

I can't believe how much he has matured in the past year or two! So basically, we thought doing x would be great, but we really listened to him and instead of wanting us to help him buy a house , they want to work things out on their own.

Instead, will put money into a savings scheme till he is ready, which we can supplement if required.

I am so impressed with his attitude and long-term planning, and can't help thinking that just maybe I've done something right! 😊