21st birthday e advice

[Kellyblueeyes]

Hi just joined today and feel like I need to have a little rant, so sorry for being negative as nothing to do with the site, so it's my son's 21st birthday in Few days and I've kept asking what he wants so tonight he said a car, firstly he doesn't drive, never had a lesson and secondly I can't afford one so offered him £200 I know it's not a lot for 21st but I have 3 children and pay a lot of bills, he makes my life a living hell kicks off none stop swearing and screaming at me, he works but never gave me a penny not that I have asked, he sends me shopping list every week if I don't get something off list he goes mental, he does nothing to help around the house he always threatens to smash things his anger is horrific, so when I offered him the Money he kicked off slamming doors screaming and shouting saying what is he supposed to do with that, so just wondered if any of you lovely people could advise if I'm being a shit parent by only offering him that, thanks for any advice x

Personally I'd be telling him to leave the home not offering a gift. What exactly does he bring to the party that helps his fellow family members? With an attitude like that he's welcome to go it alone and see how he survives in the real world

Thanks for replying, it is like constantly walking on egg shells with him, he is like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, he is so ungrateful and never happy with anything, I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do x

Hi Op I have a 18th in a few weeks for my DS and I've no idea what the going rate is to give a 18 year old, if £200 is what you have available then he should be bloody grateful, I have been looking at making a chocolate bouquet there really easy to make and he loves chocolate maybe you could make some little things up like a hamper if he like certain face cream, etc like a little hamper. Although if he make the home so unsettled I can fully understand with not giving him anything

Thanks for replying, I gave him the £200 and got him a nice cake and he took it without kicking off, he said he had just been in a mood. It's just hard at times as you don't know what ti do for the best, I hope your son has a lovely birthday x