DD situation

[jessielou1]

My daughter is 25 snd works around 30 hours pw but only has a 20 hour contract . She pays £25 a week board runs a new car and I cook clean wash snd iron for her .
Most days she comes home from work straight into PJs and sometimes sleeps all night . Sometimes she forgets to set her clock for work and has ended up late . Today she got up at 1030 and had to be in work at 1115 as she turned her alarm off and went back to sleep . I no longer wake her and I've told her I have no intention of doing so .
It's really getting me and DH down I already suffer with anxiety . She just hasn't grown up at all and I fear for her future . I talk to my mum about this but that ends in an argument as she always sticks up for DD saying I worry too much . Am I worrying for nothing or am I right to be concerned . I worry she will never get her own place and have any responsibilities .

@jessielou1 I think that you have made it so comfortable and easy for her that she feels she can always remain at home with you doing everything for her. So it doesn't matter if she loses her job because her rent is very low and easy to cover or she feels she could just stop paying you altogether.

This calculator will be an eye opener for both you and her, put your postcode in and see what comes up, or look on the SpareRoom website to see what she should be paying for a room in a house. www.comparethemarket.com/home-insurance/content/pa-rental/

I have a now adult son and a teenager, they have prepared a Friday night meal for the family for the last year. It hasn't been more as Ds1 was doing his A levels and was busy revising but is great at making meals, cooking, cleaning and laundry. So firstly your DD needs to prepare a family dinner on a set night, she is an adult in the house too. Secondly she needs to do her own laundry or actually do some laundry just to have some responsibility. There needs to be a discussion about the future and going forwards, about moving out and how she will facilitate that. You need to give her a goal to work to with a date for moving out.

You have looked after her because you love and care for her but it is now time to start looking forward.

My DC has been home for 18 months after 10 years away. I have not asked for any money during this time because they were saving for a property. They have now bought a flat outright and so in the future won't be wasting all their salary on rent. Sometimes there is good reason for supporting adult DC at home.