My child is a parent

[Lally2000]

So I am a new grandparent and wondered if I have done the right thing 🙈 DD has a new baby & she told me he was sleeping in their bed, he’s tiny as prem. I texted to say I didn’t think this was a good idea, but also she knows best and I just didn’t know what she knew as a new mum. Am I overstepping ? I don’t want her to think she’s not doing a good job , she is fantastic

Ask her if she has seen the lullaby trusts advice on co sleeping. I co sleep and it's great, but there are measures you can take to make it safer.

I'd be careful how you phrase things. My DM was a bit 'I think this and that' and it really grated on me and made me want to keep baby to myself and not share various things because I didn't want her opinion. It's better now DD is older.

Please be very careful. I know you mean we'll but my mum did similar coming across as she knew best and I was an idiot. She probably didn't mean it to. But as a very tired new mum I needed support not lecturing.

No not overstepping in my opinion. Not with something that can be dangerous. I would do the same.

I would gently point out the lullaby trust advice on safe sleeping. Make it as positive as you can. But it is important for them both to be safe.

Congratulations on your new role

How old is the baby? Are they are at full term age now? HV should be trained now to discuss how to safely cosleep and to pass this onto parents.

Perhaps send her the link to the Lullaby Trust website, there is also a good website by a Durham uni infant sleep researcher and a useful leaflet on the UNICEF website called cosleeping for health professionals. It might be worth reading them yourself and sending them to DD saying you saw them on Facebook.

Ultimately she is an adult and a parent and it’s her choice. Think about how you would have felt if your mother told you what to do.

Congratulations!
My ds2 was a tiny premmie too. After an exhausting 3 day labour ending in emergency caesarean, the midwives showed me how to safely co sleep while I was in hospital despite me being nervous.
It was great. I could nap and ds2 could nap, feed, snuggle and have skin to skin.
Don't worry.

Premmies are at a higher risk of sids as are boys. So I think you're definitely right to warn her

Thank guys, luckily we have a good & honest relationship so she understood I was coming from a good place . My mum did a lot of suggesting when mine were young so I am purposely trying to avoid this with her . I know she’s a smart mummy but i also know young first time mums have to take in so much information even more so with a prem baby