The pain of being an estranged daughter.

[Maiden21]

I discovered through a friend that my mum passed away last July and none of my family were in touch. The problem being that my mum inherited a large sum of money after her husband (my step father) died. My sister was on the case immediately and together with my mothers sister they had me ousted out of the family. I knew my mum was heading in the dementia route and needed their help but they took my mum to a lawyer and organised the POA without my knowledge. A few weeks later they had her medically diagnosed and then had her put into an Old Folks Home. I managed to trace where she was by contacting the Social Work department and they arranged a visit which was both distressing for me and my mum but we did have a nice afternoon with tea served by the lovely staff.
The POA had my mum moved to a different Residential Home after that.
My beautiful son suddenly found he had cancer so my life was taken in a different direction and I couldn't take any more stress so after his death I tried to find where my mum was but gave up and then I was told by a friend that my mum passed last July.
Sad reading I know but life sucks sometimes and when you don't have family around like in the movies you've just to get on with it.
Im writing this simply because its been a hellish journey ant at the end of it my sister (who has never worked a day in her life) and my Aunt (who is and always has been a gambler) got away with putting my my mum in a residential care home, sold her house and belongings and divided the savings between them. Should I try and do something about this or am I too late? Can I also add that my mum was my friend and mum and I loved her throughout my whole life.

I am so sorry to read this.
I have lost my parents and my son. I am deeply sorry for your losses.
I think you should get this moved to the legal board for advice.

With the greatest respect, it sounds as if you weren't in touch with your mum for a couple of years at least. You say they 'put your mum in a care home' and 'sold her house' - well she probably needed residential care if she was end-of-life with dementia, and they would be legally bound to sell the house to pay for that. If they had POA - which your mum would have chosen to give to them - then that was their job.

If she died with a will leaving everything to your aunt and sister then that was her choice and there is nothing you can do about it.

If she died intestate (no will) then you may have a claim on her estate, if there was one. You could start by checking to see if she did have a will.

But I'm afraid it does look as if they did all the caring and management in her final illness.

I'm so sorry you lost your son and your mother.

You can search online for a copy of your mum's will - here. If there isn't a will, then it's worth speaking to a lawyer.

I hope you get a resolution.

Honestly, I know you’ve been through hell with your son and his illness and I’m sorry for your losses.
However I can’t imagine a time when I would ever lose track of my mother’s whereabouts or give up trying to find her. You can’t have been very close to her.

You only seem interested now there may be money you’re entitled to.

Depending on where you are there may be legal rights of an adult child which over-ride a will to get you a percentage of her money or assets.

Your first port of call would be to find the will. Depending on where you are it may be published and you can buy a copy for a fee. Then you would know what she left to whom.

There are rules about executors and what they can and cannot do. If hers have broken any rules you could presumably take it further.

@Elieza

Honestly, I know you’ve been through hell with your son and his illness and I’m sorry for your losses. However I can’t imagine a time when I would ever lose track of my mother’s whereabouts or give up trying to find her. You can’t have been very close to her.

You only seem interested now there may be money you’re entitled to.

Depending on where you are there may be legal rights of an adult child which over-ride a will to get you a percentage of her money or assets.

Your first port of call would be to find the will. Depending on where you are it may be published and you can buy a copy for a fee. Then you would know what she left to whom.

There are rules about executors and what they can and cannot do. If hers have broken any rules you could presumably take it further.

'You only seem interested now there may be money you're entitled to' Very hurt with that comment!

My step father relied very much on me with regards to the finances because he trusted me over the years and we swapped information regarding investments and shares. He had his money and I had mine.
My sister has never worked and relies on the state.
After he passed away and because I'm honest I stupidly told my sister about the financial situation and gave her the passwords etc., I thought it best to involve her in all decisions with regards to my mums welfare and because I realised my mum was not capable to deal with the money. My mum agreed that the POA should be joint. I did not know, nor was made aware that my sister and aunt went with my mum to the lawyer to have me removed and my aunt made POA.
During my lifetime my sister did nothing for my mum but as soon as money was in the scene, so was she.

I just wanted to get that straight. I can expand on the story about what they went on to do to keep my mum and me apart but its very painful and in truth there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. They called the police when I turned up at the door. The police advised me to speak to a lawyer and to stay apart until things settled. Ive never been so humiliated in my life. Who would ever think a sister would do that!