When did your dc leave home?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

I have 3 dds aged 19, 18 and nearly 14. Oldest is a uni student (living at home currently), middle on still at school and going to uni later this year hopefully, youngest at school.

Oldest two say they have no intention to leave home for quite some time. Middle one is keen to move away when she goes to uni and is quite independent, but it's not properly moving out and she's pretty sure she'll come back home afterwards.

What I'm asking is - did you encourage your dc to move out when they could afford to? Dd1 is a bit of a homebird and isn't excited by the prospect of leaving home.

I know they are still very young and a lot could change over the next few years but is it unreasonable to hope they will be living independently by their mid 20s?

Oldest moved out after a row at 20 and never came back! Younger one always said she wanted to live at home til she was 27 - she moved out at 17 and came back many times before finally settling for good.

Me and my siblings went to university and never came back. Thought that was normal?

I moved out at 21, after uni.

My two girls went travelling after Uni, found partners and never came home!

Oldest dd went to uni but lived at home. Moved out with a bf at 21.
Oldest ds at 21 after I was sick of him and his gf always arguing when she stayed over.
Next dc at 24 when he bought a house.
Next at 18 when he joined the army.

My oldest is 19 and living at home. He says he'd like to move out and says he's saving but who knows?

Dc2 plans on having a career that involves lots of studying at uni. I assume she'll be here in the holidays until she has her masters then who knows?

Youngest has no plans after GCSEs so who knows?

Ours moved out when they went to university and didn’t move back. We have a very good relationship but we live in a very small town and they both live in cities now which they prefer.

I left at 22 after uni

(I lived at home during uni as it was 10 mins away from my parents)

@Crapbuttrue many of our friends who have older children have them still at home after uni. They often can’t afford to move out.

@Ginisatonic did they find jobs straight after graduating? What sort of accommodation did love to, flat shares etc?

I moved out at 23 after saving to buy my own house

Dd1 left at 19 to go to university. She came back to live with us on and off until she was 21

@bendmeoverbackwards yes they both got jobs straight away. DD1 has moved a few times. Currently in a (really nice) flat share but previously lived in a one bed decent flat on her own. Lives in a more expensive area now. DD2 only graduated last year so in her first job and in an OK house share. Neither have fully settled yet but when they are they’ll buy something. It’s cheaper than renting.
We’ve got really used to being on our own now. I’d find it difficult to have them at home again. Although they do both know that we’d support them here if necessary.

DS went to uni in Sheffield and then to London for his Masters. Stayed in London for several years, and is now in Sydney.

DD worked on a one-year contract (Olympics) after A levels, and then went to a local uni so stayed at home. She then moved away and has her flat/home/life in London. Except that she's spent around 6 months of the last 12 with us, so that she can walk and have us around her, rather than live on her own. She'll be back to London as soon as reasonable though.

18, to go to uni, DS met his future wife in 3rd year and moved in with her on graduation as he’d got a job in London.

Most of my friends’ sons of the same age still have them at home. I’m a little envious 😁, but DS got married 2 years after graduation so doesn’t look like he’s coming back 😊

All at 18 to go to university.
dc1 came home when he finished, and is still here at 24
dc2 didn't want to leave her University town and is living there
dc3 is still at university.

I am encouraging / supporting dc1 to continue to save and get used to budgeting so he can buy sooner rather than forcing him out to pay a commercial rent and then struggle to ever be able to save. We are fortunate enough that we have enough room in the house so that we aren't on top of each other, which obviously makes a difference.

Where do you live? Are you within reach of their desired careers? I stayed at home until 25 as I’d saved up for a flat by then, my job was in London, my parents in easy commute from it. If they’d lived too far from what I wanted to do I would probably have gone earlier.

So I think I was encouraged to stay out to get firm savings behind me. I expect I’ll d the same with my DC, I don’t want them wasting their money on crappy flats or house shares.

I'm the youngest of 3.
I moved out at age 17/18, middle sister moved out at 19/20 and my eldest sister is 34 and still living at home.
She's only just started looking at places to move to.

All three moved out for university. DS 24 has graduated and has moved into a flat with a friend at age 22 but was essentially gone for most of the year before that.

DD20 and DD 19 are at university. I can see them moving back for a few months after graduation and then moving out. We are lucky that we have a fair bit of space for everyone.

I love having them home but dh and I love being by ourselves too.