Future contact with daughter's father

[westendgirlx]

Hi everyone, just wanting some comments from experience. My daughter is soon to become 16. I have been divorced from her dad since she was 10. I have maintained a polite text correspondence with her father mainly to arrange her visits to she him. He lives 3 hours drive away. I am hoping that in future she can maintain her relationship with her father herself including making arrangements to visit. How has that gone for other people in this situation? I have no wish to have a friendship with her father and I would rather not correspond with him in future because of what happened in the past but I have heard from other women in this situation that this is impossible even if you have adult children.

My parents all when we were 19, 16 and 13. Our DM didn't speak to DF at all about visits etc, we all had phones and it was up to us if we wanted to see DF. We are now 29, 31 and 34 and DM hasn't spoken to DF for over a decade at least.

It hasn’t worked for us. My SD lied and played her parents off against each other. When they finally found out their relationship was in tatters and never recovered. My SD has always regretted her actions but she was being a teen. She now has two parents that will one day have to be grandparents to her children. What happens if she ever gets seriously ill or when she gets married. It’s always best to remain in contact and be civil. I know it can be hard. 🌻

Xh lives 5 hours away. I have no contact with him at all - dd has arranged her visits since she was 13, although as she only sees him 3 times a year, there isn't much that needs organising.

Hi fascinationends!

Does your ex drive? My problem is worse because he doesn't drive and I do...and he has grown used to me doing all the driving. This was expected of me by the judge who had a terrible reputation for being anti women

Oh blimey, poor you. As soon as was reasonable, dd started getting the train - I put her on one end, he got her off the other, so probably when she was 13. She enjoys it and is v confident doing it. Would that be an option for your dd?

I have suggested it to my ex but I has refused, saying that something might happen to her on the train. So, I have waited until she is 16...a few weeks time...and then I will stop driving her up. By then, the judge's decision is no longer relevant.

#he has refused