I have 3 dc, all adult. My dad seems to hate me and I can't say anything about her bf without her snapping at me and having a go at me. She says I make her feel uncomfortable in her own home because I've asked him to wash his hands properly and questioned why she does all his washing here. Other dd lives with bf in his family home and is good to spend time with but totally absorbed into his family and chooses them over us. DS has his own place and busy job but we do text every week and meet up every few weeks (Covid allowing). But I don't have a close or enjoyable relationship with any of them, the way I had always hoped for. We were a very close loving family until they were in their twenties. I feel like a failure and that I've done something wrong.