Estranged adult son

[Alicemtaylor]

Hello is there anyone else going through this painful experience? And any advice

I’ve had some issues in the past with mine, patched up for the time being.

What’s happening with yours atm?

Me, wish I did have some advice; it hurts a lot doesn't it. I am so sorry. However, be wary on mn you may get more vitriol than help.

No. Why did they go nc? If you want some advice or support, it will be useful to have to share more details. Some mumsnetters can share the reasons behind going nc with their parents. Others of being the parent.

There's a psychological imperative for some adult kids to go non contact and it's described as a basic need to detach from the primary caregiver.
They do this so that they can properly 'launch', themselves into the adult world and become independent.
Parents often have a hard time adjusting to this new dynamic. Parents can and often do remain in the role of THE PARENT. This causes real tension and can lead to estrangement.
Sometimes however, there is good reason for the AC to cut off all communication. Sometimes, a third party enters the dynamic and the AC draws negative parallels with the way he/she was parented compared to the new relationships parenting. And sometimes, there's just a clash of personalities between parent and AC.

I feel your pain OP.....My young adult child aged 24, cut me out of her life almost a year ago. There was nothing that had happened between us, although I'd been a lone parent after divorcing her coercive, controlling father when she was 8. We were a tight unit until she developed serious mental health issues after being bullied at school and going away to University. I did my best to get help for her to address these issues and she obtained support whilst at University. However after a major spike in her mental health issues, when she was 19/20 she appeared to blame me for all her problems which appeared to be exacerbated by a diagnosis of ASD (high achieving Asperger's) 18 months ago. She had an autistic meltdown, I think, which precipitated her ostracism of me. She is in contact with members of the family who have done little in her life to support her, but has sworn them to secrecy about her life and has threatened me with the police if I try to find out anything about her.
The only way I can deal with the pain and emotional evisceration as she is my only child, is to put her in a metaphorical box and try not to think about her too often. I have a contact address and have sent her 2 letters over the past year- no reply.

Has he told you why?

Hi OP

I have an adult daughter who cycles between being in touch and cutting us off.
I have a lot on my plate anyway and having to walk on eggshells has been a strain.
She is working towards cutting all but 1 of us off I think .
I read a lot on this topic and it seems to be the mother's fault ! My husband won't talk about it much any more as I am just speculating and blaming myself he says . He is hurt and angry too I'm sure

I've just realised that I've resurrected an old thread . I hope that's ok.

Few replies - maybe we are unusual OP!
I have other adult children who say I have nothing to reproach myself for . Hard to believe though