Mothers of sons...

[lilybetsy]

I have three sons, 22,18 and 15. I love them all very much and they are very very different from each other. The one thing I have found is that as they grow older its harder to find stuff to DO with them that we will both enjoy ... cinema is hard as is TV / netfix because they all like violence / horror and I really dont ; I bake and cook - they will sometimes show interest but not much, they game / play music / watch You tube ... I feel like our points of contact and common ground are dwindling. I love them, and I know they love me ... but I feel we are drifting away from each other - no malice but little in common ....any ideas ? They will walk the dog with me (sometimes) and still come on holiday with me - if its a holiday they like ....

They are at an age when drifting away is the norm, and doing things with parents is the exception.

My son and I share books, we love the same authors, he is also a good cook the only problem is he can be bossy if he doesn't like the way I do it. My DD on the other hand reads rubbish (she loves it but it is rubbish to me) can't cook to save her life.

I don't think it is because they are sons but because they are their own people. It can change over time, one of my other sons didn't have much in common with me but now he has children and we talk about schools and activities and what they are doing.

I have ds's of 25, 19, 16. Morrison's cafe is a great idea ime!! Big fried breakfast always keeps us up to date and 1-1 time!!

I know drifting away is normal - and i would be worried if all they wanted to do was hang about with me ! But I see friends / family with daughters of similar age and they watch stuff together or share some interests and it makes me a little sad. But again, as you say maybe it will change again as they get older ...

I have sons of 21, 18, 16 & 13. Food! They always want food, so going out for a meal when I can afford it is a good way of being together. And actually we almost always eat dinner together at the table. It's a good way of getting a chat in once a day.

The 16 yo shares a lot of the same interests in tv & films as me so we watch a lot together. My 18 yo is into music so in normal times we go to gigs (he has learning disabilities so can't go on his own) sometimes 13 yo comes too.

I never did anything with my mum so I don't think it's strictly a mums/daughter thing.

It's not a son thing.

You've just described my 15 year old daughter and many of her female friends.

I have felt exactly the same with my son 24 especially as he shares a love of sport that he can share with his dad( plus he is our only child) but over time I’ve come to realise he loves me as I am-we talk about current affairs and day to day things but ultimately you are mum and that matters the most-