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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Original poster

Question for parents of adult only children

14 replies

Sugarcoma · 19/09/2020 22:37

I hope this isn't sensitive for anyone but if you have only one child by choice - and particularly if you made that choice because you found parenting very hard (as I do) - now he/she is an adult do you find yourself wishing you had more children or are you still happy with the decision you made back then?

I'm very happy with just one and tbh dread the idea of another in many ways because I find parenting so difficult but wondering if I'll regret it down the line.

OP posts:
ittooshallpass · 20/09/2020 00:04

Do you have brothers and sisters?

chatterbugmegastar · 20/09/2020 07:40

I had one child because I didn't want to go through another birth (it was awful) and I've never regretted it. My DD and I have a wonderful relationship and she likes being an only child, has lots of friends etc

Ragwort · 20/09/2020 07:43

My DS is 19 now, an only child by choice and I have never, ever regretted that decision. He also seems very happy to be an only child (obviously it's difficult to compare what it would be like if you've never had siblings Confused) and has a wide circle of friends - just gone off to play golf with 'new' friends he's met during lockdown before we take him back to Uni this afternoon.

Original poster
Sugarcoma · 20/09/2020 09:09

Thank you for the responses, which are already making me feel better.

@ittooshallpass I have a brother but we've never gotten along and he now lives abroad.

OP posts:
Meg321 · 22/09/2020 17:01

We never know what the future will bring. We can only make decisions on the here and now. I have two children because I didn't want them to be alone. Me and my brother were close but my too aren't. They have separate lives and don't see much of each other.

Annabanana455 · 22/09/2020 17:06

My only child is still young but just wanted to say you are not alone OP. I always wonder if I will regret not having another. For me it’s not just about finding parenting hard, I have numerous other concerns too.
I have siblings myself but we have never been close.

Celticdawn5 · 02/01/2021 09:00

I do not regret having an only child (now an adult)
I had a period of feeling broody but am glad I didn’t have another.
I find the emotional load of being a parent very hard.
There was a financial consideration too.
I’m the 3rd of 4 siblings and it wasn’t great growing up together and we are not close.

Rattymare · 17/05/2021 14:26

My DS is 32 and I deeply regret only having him. My parents were so disgusted with me for having a child without a DH/DP I couldn't face going through it again.

dancealittleclosertome · 17/05/2021 14:31

Shame on your parents Rattymare. Flowers

Rattymare · 17/05/2021 14:34

@dancealittleclosertome

Shame on your parents Rattymare. Flowers
Thankyou
Kimbo180 · 17/05/2021 16:20

Iv one shes 26. Had her when i was 17. Never regretted just having on one. Somedays id get emotions saying i wish i had more but it goes.
Parenting is tough work.
But youl be even prouder when all your hard work pays off.

Rebelwithverysharpclaws · 18/05/2021 15:50

I have only one DC, 29. We have the best and closest relationship. I was 38 when DC was born and it felt a bit late to have more. DC does not want children and I find I am quite glad that I will not be expected to care for small grandchildren. DC is very happy that they will get all of the inheritance. I do myself have a sister and a great relationship with her. My partner has a sister he never speaks to. There are no guarantees that siblings will get on. Trust yourself that you made the right choices for your family.

Loumilli · 19/05/2021 08:46

My ex-husband made a decision to not see his 3 children anymore, when the youngest was about 7years. Occasionally, he would phone them and promise holidays of a lifetime and then never show up to take them. We all broke our hearts. I paid off all the debts from the marriage to save the house. I lost my eldest daughter and had a heart attack at 42. I got all of the children through school and college on my own. Never a penny from him and no support. When the youngest reached 18 he showed up. He wants them in his life now and throws his money about - paying for weddings and holidays. Every celebration his controlled by him. He has bought a house for cash on the shores of a Scottish Loch and the children go and stay with him. I have nothing. I started a business and I work hard as I need to put money by for retirement. I feel so much hatred for him but I understand that my children want to know their father. The anxiety is making me so unhappy. Am I right feeling anger towards him?

3boyshere · 16/06/2021 22:45

I am an only child and could not imagine having siblings.

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