DD split with her bf and I'm gutted!

[FromDespairToHere]

I am fully aware how ridiculous I'm being. She's 20, he's 25. They've been together 2 years and I actually introduced them. I almost love him like a son. She finished with him today - he's not done anything wrong, she's just fallen out of love with him.

I think I had a beautiful future mapped out for them in my head and I'm mourning that, whereas she's just relieved that he's taken it well. Is it normal to feel so upset? And has anyone got any grips they can give me please?

I totally get it op my dd met a lovely lad when she started university he was polite great with ds motivating him with school work really kind to dd we all went out for dinner a few times and he was so pleasant to be with.

He wanted more than just friendship so they don’t speak anymore ds misses him they used to text each other and I wonder how he’s getting on with his studies

Dd is now with someone I can’t stand 24 no job not studying is moody and I believe emotionally abusive it’s her choice obviously but I so wish she was with the other guy

I completely understand. DD split with her fiancé last year, it was absolutely the right decision for both of them but I do miss him.

I really liked my DDs first boyfriend who she was with for 9 months till she went to uni. He was friendly and chatty when he came to dinner and I thought he was a good role model for my (practically monosyllabic) son. They split when my daughter went to uni last year but it was quite acrimonious so now my DD is very negative about him. He certainly had some negative behaviours but he wasn't all bad. I just have to bite my lip - she has written him off entirely as a terrible person. He was just a 19 boy muddling through as they all are when they're young and in their first relationships. They learn from each about what they are looking for.

I am definitely less invested now in her BFs. There have been two since and the latest one is I'm sure a nice guy but very dopey. He's at home and she's gone back to uni - I'm not holding my breath on it's longevity.

Really irritatingly when my DD split from the first one my XH said 'oh Emma didn't like him at all'. Emma is his girlfriend who met the BF all of once. Oh isn't she the wise one! Very easy to say after the fact. Like the rest of us had just been taken in.

Thank you to those who understand! I want to know how he's doing but I can't ask, obviously. She has no regrets so it was obviously the right thing for her. I do miss him though!

@FromDespairToHere I totally understand. My son and his girlfriend split up 18 months ago. They were 21 and had been together 5 years as bf and gf and a couple of years prior to that as school friends. I was devastated. I found out from her as it happened, not my son. She text me one night to tell me.. and I was heartbroken. I still don’t understand the reason they split up.. and I feel I couldn’t ask. My son struggles with anxiety and depression and I know he was going through a very bad patch at the time. She adored him, but she moved on very quickly and began going out with a mutual friend shortly after.. and now they are engaged. I honestly thought of her as a daughter, she used to stay over at ours a lot and came on holiday with us. My young daughter absolutely loved her too and I thought they would be together forever. My son refers to their times together as ‘good times’ so I really don’t understand. But my heart still aches for what could have been.... So I do understand and I hope you are ok. 💕