Thank you @swimmer4. He's never been very confident, always anxious. Sadly he uses weed to 'help' with this. We've had years of talking, arguing, disagreeing over it but he still goes out and smokes weed every night.
He has disordered eating, vomiting when stressed, but whenever I've tried to touch on this he's hit the roof, strong denial etc.
There were issues early on in school with bullying for being quiet and studious and even after moving schools and after moving schools he seemed to swing the other way, stopped trying and hanging around with kids with a bad reputation, doing silly things to'fit in'.
Peer pressure, wanting to fit in, anxiety, weed and money worries associated with it. He works full time and has nothing to show for it at all. His car is now sat on the drive as he failed to pay his insurance on time and now the provider have cancelled the policy.
I've said that I'll help him in any way I can, budgeting, anything, but he says he doesn't want help.
I'm worried that he's in a lot of debt that he's not managing. He's very secretive, never eats meals with family, incredibly defensive even if I say 'hello, had a good day?'....many things that point to an unhappy young man that I feel powerless to help.
Apologies for the garbled post.