HIV Son

[Suntan10]

Hi does anyone know of a help or discussion forum for mothers of adult children with HIV. Could do with discussing the panic that sets in every time my son sneezes or has a pain.

Hi OP, I don’t know if any specifically but I might be able to help.

Although I’m the one with HIV (and reasonable knowledge of it) I’m also a mum with adult DC.

I understand your concern, especially if he contracted it recently. However if your son is on treatment, taking his meds every day, and has an undetectable VL then any time he has a cold or other illness, this should be just as likely or not as anyone else with recovery to health the same. He will also get the flu vac for free every year, though just like anyone else, this doesn’t mean he won’t get flu. Tbh he’ll probably be looking for reassurance when he gets any regular illness as health anxiety can be a thing for anyone who’s newly contracted HIV.

Try to see it as just another health condition. The meds keep the virus suppressed and the immune system gets on with doing what it does best.

As far as other forums go, there is this one forums.poz.com/index.php
And you can post in the section “someone I care about has HIV”. However the response would be from those living with HIV and not many mums post on there.

Another, more private, alternative is this website www.plushealth.org.uk/peer-support.html where anyone Who has concerns/questions about someone HIV+ close to them can, if in the UK, chat to someone living with HIV. The guy who does this is extremely helpful and knowledgeable, whatever the concern.

Feel free to message me if you like. 🙂

Meant to add, this in particular might be useful www.plushealth.org.uk/undetectable.html

Hi thank you so much that's amazing.We found out last April,Yes hes on meds and cannot pass it on, hes living in Barcelona and has brilliant medical care there.Hes a single 24 year old gay gorgeous guy and I find it quite hard not being there for him. Hes also vegan which I know is healthy but he has had a couple of stomach bugs in the past year so I panic about his diet as well, understandably he does'nt always want to discuss with his mum. Never stop worrying about your kids !,What you have said is reassuring and yes I will message you now and again if thats ok. Thank you so much.

It sounds like he's doing very well. HIV care is I believe slightly more complicated in Spain till you get the hang of it but is very good. If he ever has a problem in understanding anything his consultant says - ie if there's a language barrier, Terrence Higgins Trust has a forum purely for those living with HIV who can log in - anonymously if they wish - and ask questions/get support.

I do get that you never stop worrying about kids, especially if they live abroad. Stomach bugs can be due to anything really. You could give him the Plus Health link above if he's interested as there's also a section on healthy eating. His regular blood tests and appointments should pick up if there's any problems with his health. Really with the care we get anything untoward might well be picked up sooner than it might be in the general population.

As said, happy to answer any questions I can, whenever you wish.

Yes I agree with you about picking things up earlier than most. Hope your life is treating you well and your journey with HIV is ok ,thank you so much for your words and advice.

Anyone with HIV living in Spain should only use sealed bottled water for consumption/teeth cleaning. This could be causing his stomach bugs. Even here in UK you’d be advised to use only bottled water.

@shere

Anyone with HIV living in Spain should only use sealed bottled water for consumption/teeth cleaning. This could be causing his stomach bugs. Even here in UK you’d be advised to use only bottled water.

In the UK I never drink bottled water - tap water is great and I keep a jug of it in the fridge.

Of course with a stomach bug more care should be taken generally with food or drink wherever we live and regardless of HIV status.