Family Christmas

[MaryAnnO]

Advice please. Every year we have Christmas at home with our two children who are at uni and our older two who are working and come and stay. They all contribute except one of the older ones who always brings alcohol and brings it away again after eating and drinking everyone else’s contributions! It’s not fair on onyone else and to be honest it really annoys me. It’s my husbands child from his previous marriage and he doesn’t want to say anything. It’s not just Christmas but happens at all family gatherings and it’s not like money is an issue, they are just tight.

Why don't you drink her contribution first, so it's gone?

Hi, thank you for your suggestion. It’s because he usually brings rum and other spirits which is for later. Good idea though, I could ask him to bring wine.

I think it sounds like a non issue. Ours only bring something if I ask them them. I wouldn’t usually expect them to contribute except to pick something odd up on way here - maybe a couple of lemons or a bag of ice etc.
If you’re bothered I don’t not start an argument but maybe ask earlier next year for specifics. “Hi John, please can you bring a pudding and some mince pies with you next week?” You’d have to do the same for everyone though.

It’s a non issue, something to laugh at rather than feel upset by. I’d also aim to drink it all first!

Ask them to contribute something specific next year? ‘Hi Johnny, your sister is bringing the wine so could you please buy some smoked salmon for the starter and a pudding? Something with chocolate would be lovely. Thanks!’ All sorted with no drama.

I would just ignore it all. It's so petty. It's just a bottle of spirits. Do you really focus on a bottle of rum to this extent? If you don't like him, fair enough. If he's tight then you don't have to see him often. Christmas spirit?

Thank you all for your responses. Yellow wallpaper I think you missed the point. As I said, it happens at all family gatherings, this Christmas was just another example. We pay to take everyone away once a year to a cottage/lodge and the other children bring small food and drink contributions, just as an appreciation really. The older two are in their late 20s with very good jobs (he is one of them) and the younger ones are still at and just finished uni. We try and instil a sharing attitude with all the children and the others are complaining now. It’s inappropriate (and quite unnecessary) to suggest that I don’t like him as I have been his step mum for over 25 years.