Feeling sad

[Llama01]

Long post alert !! I have 5 children ranging in age from 21 to 31 yrs old . My eldest is about to move to Canada to live with his fiancée . My middle boy lives in NZ and my youngest lives in Australia . The other two are based in London and Bristol . I live in the North of England . Their dad and I separated and divorced when our youngest was 7 and both of us have remarried. I feel proud and happy my kids have spread their wings and are seeing the world and I have made trips to visit them . I have this nagging feeling that somehow I have made them want to be as far away as possible and especially when I have friends who have family gatherings regularly and plan Christmas and birthday do s all together . Most of my friends children live nearby so see them nearly everyday. During our divorce I struggled to juggle work etc and didn't always put the children first and feel that maybe it's payback time . Does anyone else feel the same ?

That's really hard and you are understandably feeling low. I would look at the fact that you have created well rounded adults who want to experience the world. I really doubt that they are trying to get away from you. How often do you communicate ? It's hard sometimes with the time difference. Maybe try and organise a trip to Canada when your son is settled.

Thank you for your reply . We message each other almost every day and try to speak once a week which is lovely . My eldest son gets married in Canada next year so will all be together which will be the first time in about 4 yrs . I realise I m lucky that my children want to see the world and I completely understand that but I miss them so very much

You made them confident enough in their relationship with you and themselves to be able to live away from you. My abusive parents kept me close. I was only allowed to live up to thirty minutes away.

I m so sorry to hear that . That must be very hard to bear x