I have 2 children from a previous marriage aged 21 and 18. My husband of only one year does not like them, considers them lazy and I've been a bad parent so far. He had a previous marriage of 18 years and was a step father to 2 girls for their entire adult life but actively encouraged them to leave home at 18 and threw one out at 18!!!! I want my kids to be comfortable at home with us but they're obviously not. Do I choose my husband or my kids. I don't want them to hate me.