My 22 year old son is intelligent, kind and attractive. He dropped out of uni and now does a bit of acting - but the jobs are generally at the other end of the country so getting to them costs him as much as he earns. He lives with me and contributes nothing to the household income. He has done nothing to find other employment. He has no friends locally and a very limited social life overall. He seems to regard himself as “above” working in coffee shops etc. I have no idea what he does all day - I think it’s mostly sitting in his room on the internet. I’ve tried pretty much every technique (supporting/nagging/ignoring) to try and get him to buck up. The only thing I haven’t tried is some kind of “tough love” approach ie ultimatum of getting a job or he leaves. The truth is I would find it very hard to kick him out. He’s a good lad but has utterly lost his way. I’m worried we’re going to end up in some awful Ronnie Corbett “Mum” set up ...he has told me he has some depressed feelings and anxiety and it’s not that I don’t believe him - but with his layabout lifestyle I’m not surprised he’s down. And also don’t see why him feeling a bit miserable legitimises him sponging off me, his 50 year old single mum. Anyway - as you can tell I swing between anger/despair/disinterest in the emptiness and lack of direction of his life and would appreciate some advice...
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