Hi all, I really don't know where to turn as every option seems to hit a dead end.
Our 18yo daughter started seeing her first boyfriend of the same age just under a tear ago. This was great time for her and the chap she was seeing was (I though) a nice lad. This soon changed, he stopped coming round to our house and insisted out daughter meet him 'out' or at his when his mum was working.
the mood at home started to change as well, she became very defensive of him, her whereabouts and pretty much anything (very out of character). It wasn't until I overheard her on the phone to him shouting and swearing at her, threatening to do himself harm and calling her some very unpleasant names, that I realised not all was well with their relationship. That particular conversation was due to her 'letting her phone run out of charge and not replying to his messages quick enough!
These conversations took a familiar tone each time they talked and I had to intervene at one point stating that this was not acceptable and assured him that this was a form of abuse.
They worked at the same place and went to the same collage which didn't help when she finally decided she had had enough. I helped her find another job and we informed the college of the situation due to arguments occurring on college grounds when he wanted to 'discuss' it with her.
Unbeknownst to me and her mum, he was frantically trying to get her to start seeing him again and over time, his persistence payed off after he convinced my daughter he'd changed!
well, we are back in the same situation a couple of months down the line and there's a noticeable change in my daughters persona and confidence... she's due to start Uni in September and I'm so worried she'll get there in her current state and not embrace the Uni life and opportunities it has to offer.... Additionally, It's so hard seeing her like this knowing he's treating her so appallingly.
The Police state that I can't do anything unless my daughter wishes to press charges and I'm limited as to what I can do myself without getting myself into trouble which needs to be avoided for countless reasons (work, family, income)
I feel helpless and total unable to help her. I know she needs to want to do something about it but, she's obviously not in the best position to make that change.
Has anyone gone or going through this and is there any advice you can give? I've run so many scenarios through my head and reading the news really doesn't help! none of them seem to end well when partners become controlling, overbearing and abusive. As far as I know, he hasn't hit her but what he's doing to her isn't much better.
Thanks in advance
Mark