Pressure from my parents to look after siblings 24/7

[babysitter101]

Hey,

I'm new here, but figured the best place to get advice on this was from other families!
I'm 22, I moved home last year after 3 years at Uni, during which time I supported myself ect and came home on a semi-regular basis, such as birthdays ect. I would also come home if my parents felt they needed a date night. (I have two younger siblings, sister 10 and brother 6)

They are very demanding children. I can't judge but they have been spoiled and 'no' is not in their vocab. My parents have little control over them. My parents are forceful with their words but any actual discipline other than a scary telling off is rare.

So, these 'date nights' have turned into weekends away since I have been back. They went to America for 5 days last year and I was left with the children. (I wasn't asked, if I had been I mightve said no, but it's more of a I get told when Im looking after them situation)

Also need to mention, my long term boyfriend lives back where I used to go to uni, so I like to see him with my weekends/and visit friends.

I also work from home. Which is where this problem has become increasingly worse. Just because I work from home, my parents think it's okay to leave the kids with me during school holidays. (It's half term rn and I have them) It's frustrating because I'm 22 and it's not what I want to be doing. And while they're good and don't require much looking after other than feeding, it's not fair to them or me. And certainly not appropriate for my job.

I'm very worried and overwhelmed. My relationship with my mother is volatile and this will not be discussed without me being screamed at.

As the summer holidays are approaching and I know what situation I will be in, im feeling anxious and tearful.

I feel selfish because I don't want to do all this. I don't mind babysitting for date night or the occasional weekend. But since moving home, i'm school run and all sorts and I don't think this is my time. I will do all this when I have kids :/

Also a disclaimer: I do pay rent, pay for everything thats mine and tidy up after myself. (Just incase anyone thought this may be my way of paying my way in the family home)

Sorry for the ramble! Any advice?

Well no, because she's also providing unlimited childcare for that price to

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Janinlondon, yes that is 10% of what I earn which is what they've asked for. I buy my own food mostly unless they invite me to join their evening meal.

I would pay more but im certainly not going to offer to pay more.

Oh my word!!

My DM had 3 of my siblings when I became an adult.

There is no way I'd have looked after my 3 siblings the way you've had yours. My DM would have got a very loud NOPE! If I wanted kids, I'd have them.

You've a lot more patience than me!!

It might be an idea to read up about how to calmly state what you want, and to try to avoid an argument. There must be books about this? You can't control (or be responsible for) your parents' reactions to your news, but you could prepare your approach. It might help you feel calmer about the discussion.