Do any of you take other children to school?

[Feelingsensitive]

DD starts reception in September. The school is a 30 minute walk or 10 minute drive. I am a SAHM and have a younger child as well. Two people living on my road also have DCs going to the same school as DD. They both work PT and have asked me to do a 'lift club'. Seeing as I don't work I dont have much of a need for this. One of them wants to have a reciprocal arrangement so we all take turns to drive the DCs to school but the other one has offered to pay me. I feel mean but I don't want to do it.I can just see it being a pain as they will presumably want to drop their DCs to me long before I would wish to leave and what happens if someone is ill or late. I would appreciate any opinons on whether it works for you.

Certainly wouldn't do it as a paid arrangement.

Fine if you between the three of you work out a rota. I'd certainly have appreciated not having to go on school run with younger 2 occasionally despite being SAHM. WEhen I went to school my mother was in a similar group.

But you need to discuss what happens if the lift-giver's child is ill for example, or has appointment, or is on holiday. Work out arrangements in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Thanks for that. Did they drop the kids off to you or did you collect them on the way? I just don't want people turning up on my doorstep at 8 when we dont need to leave until 8.40. Whereas if I was just collecting them as I went past that would be fine.

If you make it clear you will pick them up on the way it can work out well. But I wouldn't accept money, but do a reciprocal deal - once you involve money it becomes a job, whereas an informal mutually beneficial arrangement is better if it doesn't work out.

I would suggest you agree to 'try it'. You never know, you may have another child in a year or so or be grateful not to be toting your very pregnant self to school with a tot and a child every single day.

Thank you but I will not be having more children. The idea horrifies me

Agree about not accepting money.

Well even so it does free you up, but make sure it's an equitable deal (ie not 'you do it Monday to Weds, and we do Thurs/Friday).

Thanks again. I am pretty sure both mums are going to want to drop their children to me at about 8 so they can go to work. We won't be leaving until 8.45. If we have a reciprocable lift arrangment I wouldnt need to do this as they can just collect DD as they drive past. Its the thought of having people knocking on my door at 8 that I dont like. To me this is giving a lift and baby sitting. I dont know the kids or mums concerned (we just bumped into each other at the school meeting and relasied we all live on the same road). Do you think it woudl be OK for me to say yes to picking up as I drive past but no to looking after kids earlier than this? Or am I just being mean?

I don't think you are being mean. Make the offer and leave it up to them. We take my friends 2 daughters and they are here for an hour before school - I know them well though and the children are all like cousins. Also, as there mum is a teacher, she looks after mine for the occasional day in the school holidays when I Have to work. It works for us but I would be wary of doing it with relative strangers.

Just say no. If it won't benefit you, and it will be unpaid childcare for 45 mins each morning, it's not worth it.

I used to lift share with a neighbour, and it worked for us. Another neighbour wanted to do all her own school runs and that was Ok too. We helped her out when for some reason she couldn't, and there were no hard feelings.

I've done car sharing with my DD1 for years and its fantastic. It means you don't spend your days clock watching waiting for pick up time and can relax with a cup of tea while you wait for her to arrive home. Also in the mornings theres none of that rushing to get ready as I quite often hand her over with me in my dressing gown!!

From my DD's point of view she loves going to school and coming home with her friends.

We have never offer to pay each other and they children are collected on the route to school so not dropped at each others houses earlier.

I think you are perfectly reasonable to state the way you would want this to work and if they don't want to do it thats fine they can make alternative arrangements.

You will get tired of other people's children in your home for 45 mins in the morning. However, as your dc gets older you will probably also very much like not having to do the school run every day.

Tbh I would tell them you aren't keen yet. I have mutually beneficial arrangement with a friend who works (I do too) but I think once more than one other family becomes involved in a lift share it's always going to be complicated.

in your situation, i would just say no. and don't feel bad about it. just say you want to be the one taking her and picking her up until she's settled at school.