Room tidying/pocket money for 4 year old.

[whirlwindofchaos]

DD is 4.5 she is more than capable of tidying up but ive got total resistance about her bedroom. she just wont do it, wont put her dirty clothes in the laundry, gets things out and doesnt put them back and im pretty sick of doing it all the time.

Ive spoken to her about it and so has my mother, and my mum said she would come round and check it, and if she did it well, then she would give her some pocket money.

i would have never thought of introduing pocket money to a 4 year old. But she does need a bit of an incentive to do this. Im not talking about dusting or hoovering it, just literally not leaving stuff all over the floor and picking her clothes up.

Good or bad idea?

Slippery slope, methinks..

Could it take another form, even, say stickers, a trip to park etc?

I think what you're asking is very basic.. if it were tidying up the garden or something more communal I might see it differently, but it is her bedroom..

well. thats sort of what i think. she should just do it, i have to just do things and i dont see why she should be rewarded for doing that.
Incidentally she doesnt mind helping other things, and she does them unpromted, she sets the table, helps clear away, helps peg out washing, tidys living room. Its just tyding her bedroom which she flat refuses to do.

We go to the park everyday to walk the dog, so its not much of a treat. though stickers might be.

How strange amazing that she does other stuff unasked

oh she doesnt. she says. ' mummy my room is a mess. you can tidy it and i will watch'
or
' mummy it is a mess, but ill tidy it on sunday ' ( when its monday)

she generally loves helping and doing other things round the house, she says shes learning to be a grown up!

i just dont get why she wont do her room

My god.... you are already several zillion steps up from what my 4.5 year old does!

My 7 year old has only this year started tidying her bedroom when asked, without help! When she was 4, I used to do it with her.

have you tried the "black bag trick".

I say to DS (3yrs) "If the toys are not returned to the toybox now I will put them in a black bag and they will end up in the wheelie bin". Only once have I had to get the bag in hand and I've never seen him tidy up so fast. I want him to respect his toys, he has a lot of nice things.

I know that maybe sounds a bit harsh but it works. I would agree with the sticker chart for rewards but not money.

This sounds daft, but I wonder if she knows HOW to tidy her room. Perhaps it just all seems too overwhelming?

What about a chart on the wall with the jobs broken down? Maybe with boxes to tick when she has done it so she feels she has achieved little bits.

Make bed
Put toys in box
Dirty clothes in laundry basket

Or setting a timer (very Flylady!) for 5 minutes (lengthening it out as she gets better/older) to do all the tidying she can for that space of time. What doesn't get done can get left for the next day.

I still don't tidy my room and I'm 35. Sounds like she enjoys helping out when you are there with her and she's watching and learning from you. I'd just leave it at that. She's only 4.5. Sounds like she's doing great.