Is it normal to feel guilty for being a less than perfect mother to your toddler when you are pregnant?

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

I am 10 weeks pregnant and I feel my energy, enthusiasm and patience has just evaporated. I can be snappy and irritable and boring. It makes me feel so guilty and sorry for my toddler and I hope it's not going to affect him long-term.

Is it normal to feel like this? Please tell me that things will get back to normal?

Hell yes. You won't be pregnant forever. Put your principles to one side re. TV, treats, etc and just get through the day.

yes it's NORMAL.

I had an absolutely horrific second pregnancy (twins, massive problems including hyperemisis, nearly lost the babies and under constant threat of delivery from 29 weeks, premmie birth, ended up on crutches from 16 weeks, wheelchair at 20, in rented accommodation as we were having house renovated) - there is no doubt that DS had an absolutely crap time and at times his behaviour showed it. But now - twins are 6 months - he's back to his usual happy self, as am I - and not an ounce of jealousy since they were born. I felt horrifically guilty for the tough time he had, but he's bounced right back and is absolutely fine.

So try not to worry - do what you can, do as much just chilling together as you can, and when you feel yourself getting ratty try to take a deep breath and remind yourself it's the hormones

As a mother generally it is normal to feel guilty. when your no longer pregnant there will be something else to feel guilty about.

Well, hopefully as you get into the second trimester you'll start to have a bit more energy again?

I am just going into third trimester and am getting waddly and uncomfortable, DD does get shouted at more than is strictly necessary (mainly WILL YOU STOP JUMPING ON MUMMY'S TUMMY!).
Also had a nightmare fortnight where we were both ill with chest infections, we basically slumped in front of the TV for two weeks struggling to breathe. But this is a tiny bit of their lives, isn't it, they'll soon have mummy back to normal... well, a sleep-deprived version of normal anyway...!

Of course!

As PP says, enjoy the 2nd trimester and then in the 3rd, even if you're not feeling up too much, it will be Winter and you can cuddle up together and watch DVDs!

Congratulations!

Yes.

I had never really shouted at DS until I was pg with DD. I remember finding the early weeks really hard going, and then right at the end obviously.

Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up about it.

Thanks everyone, so sorry you had such a horrendous time weegle , the fact that he is such a happy little boy is a reflection on your parenting.

God, I can't imagine being realy ill, I'm just grateful that I have family and friends around me who are supportive and are htere when I need them.

It's true about the constant guilt, and him being my first, everything is new and I just hope to God he grows up as normal as possible with a mad, hormonal mother!

Completely normal. Hormones, tiredness etc. do not make good mother material. Not your fault. And your toddler won't remember it, so don't worry!

Yes I was like this early in my ssecond pg. Felt awful, no energy, sick etc etc and dreaded the next 8 months. Things did improve in my second trimester, but TBH by the 3rd things were a bit rubbish again (not helped by the fact we sold our house and had to move in with parents when the snow came and couldn't leave the house.. arggghh!)

You'll just have to accept that by the time the pg is over - and possibly the first 6 weeks of the new baby's life- your DC1 will no alot more CBeebies than you'd ever want to admit!!

yanbu. And the first time I bellowed at DS was when his little sister was 3 weeks old. That's pretty normal too.

And it was AK ready meals and cbeebies from 9am - 7pm for those first couple of months while I bf DD.

Totally normal. I found it even worse towards the end of the pregnancy. I was huge, immobile (SPD) and exhausted.

I constantly felt as though I should be enjoying the last few weeks with DD before the interloper arrived but instead I was useless, frustrated and very shouty

Its all worth it though when DD tells me she loves her little brother more than anything in the whole world and doesn't stop cuddling him (even if she is a tad over zealous )