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Do you give childminder many 'instructions'?

3 replies

Again · 07/07/2010 10:38

My ds is 3 and a childminder is coming to our house now for the summer. She asked me for dos and don'ts and said she knows that he eats healthy food. I just said that there was food in the fridge and that we don't force him to eat if he's not hungry etc and that he doesn't watch any tv.

Anyway I came home and she'd bought baby bel light cheese (i.e. unhealthy and overprocessed)?? Now we've already got four types of cheese in the fridge, which he loves and helped pick out himself from the cheese-mongers. I know I sound very particular, but I think that it's important to present good food choices while not force-feeding them. Would you say anything or just let it pass??

Another thing is that she is constantly telling him that he's good at things - e.g. you're very good at eating your fruit and vegetables. He told me that he is very good at writing when I came home yesterday. Whereas we are from the don't punish, don't reward school of thought. If he enjoys writing then I'd be enthusiastic with him, but would tell him that it was a good thing. He also told me that he is not very good at something.

I know that not everyone takes this approach but if a childminder, who is looking after your child only, has a very different approach would you say something??

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Again · 07/07/2010 10:40

I meant to say 'wouldn't tell him it was a good thing'!

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cory · 07/07/2010 10:55

I would probably think it healthy for him to be exposed to different ways of talking to him and responding to him (as long as they were not frightening or downright abusive). As long as she is kindly, it really won't hurt him: children are flexible and they need to learn to deal with different approaches.

Soon he will be starting school: you won't be able to give instructions to the headteacher on how to discipline him. They can't have 30 different approaches in the same class; it wouldn't be fair.

If he hasn't been on playdates already, he will soon be ready to start (certainly by the time he starts school), and then again, it will be a case of "my house, my rules" as far as the other child's mum is concerned.

Just keep an eye on the situation: if the childminder is upsetting him, you need to have a word; if she is just different, you do not. Our CM had a totally different approach from us (very sticker chart driven), but I don't think it did dcs any harm- and it was good preparation for different teachers at school.

Again · 08/07/2010 09:16

That's a good point. He is at playschool during the rest of the year, and the cm is actually one of the teachers. I know that they do constantly say 'good boy' etc and it doesn't seem to bother me in that setting. It is just that she was only with us for 2 days when he started saying 'I'm good at this' and 'I'm not good at that'

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