:'( just ran out of patience with my 7 yo son and said some mean things :' ' '(

[CharlotteACavatica]

I sent him to bed, and told him he's a rude, mean, nasty little boy, and if he carries on with his little attitude no-one will like him very much, then off i stormed slamming his bedroom door shut behind me (whos the kid, me or him!!?) i sat and calmed myself down for 5/10 mins and when i went back in he's gone to sleep, but he's been crying because hes got red wet eyes i feel so shitty, hes gone to sleep thinking i dont like him

Don't beat yourself up too much. The fact that you feel so bad about it suggests it's really unusual so give yourself a break, we all lose the rag sometimes.

You can apologise tomorrow (or sooner, if he wakes up) and you'll feel loads better, and if it's not like you to say those things, I'm sure it'll do no lasting harm.

so that's one part of his day. And if he is asleep now he was probably overtired and acting up. In the morning you can just say mummy was tired, and altho he was out of line you were so cross you said stuff you didn't mean. Just like he does sometimes.

Sometimes we realise we aren't perfect, and that's ok.

See it as an opportunity to model apologising behaviour for him to learn from But repeat that his behaviour wasn't ok either.

I have been mean today too - feeling awful about it tbh.

When I look back, I can see that I was setting myself up all day to "snap". Too much to get done, dragging the kids around all day whilst I did jobs - I just end up getting frustrated by life and by them, and the whole thing was so bloody annoying I just lost it.

I want to undo the meanness - I know how you feel. I apologised to my DS about 4 times for being mean but still can't erase the image of his little face crumpling into tears because I went too far.

I guess the best you can do is learn from it and try hard not to get into the same situation again.

Parenting is a bloody nightmare, isn't it. I am terrified of my own children having memories of me being like this: I can clearly remember the few times my own parents lost it (I know now they were just being human) but those moments that they shouted or whatever really, really stuck in my mind.

Me too, tempertemper.

But. But but but, it's not like that's all that sticks in my mind. I think that we remember scary parental moments more if they are not the norm -- lots of good memories too.

Didn't mean to make anyone feel worse, it is SO normal.

I'm so glad it is not just me - sometimes I feel like the worst mother in the world when I snap. DS1 is 9 and pushing out boundaries all the time, and with the other 2 running around by the end of the days I can sometimes just go boom. Thanks girls for making me feel like I'm not alone - reading mn sometimes makes me feel worse. Everyone seems so perfect.
Lots of cuddles for you both tomorrow!

Thanku, that does make me feel better, have just checked on him again - still snoring his head off, i so badly want to grab him and cuddle and kiss him and tell him i love him sooooo much, but his behavior lately has been jusy awful, he is so rude to his 4yo sister - his constant barrage of dont sit near me, no im not going near you your ugly, you smell, go away etc etc. She just ignores it, and bless her she frequently trots off to get a drink, and when she does she ALWAYS brings one back for ds, and ds1, ds1 (10) has the decency to say "aww thanku!" but ds2, "what is it? it looks horrible!" or "did you get it, then i dont want it, it'll have your germs in it" tonight it was "thanks but im not thirsty, if i wanted a drink id get my own" so i finally got fed up with it, told him to clear off to bed, and then my telling him what for ensued I cant have him talking to people the way he does, he has no respect for anyone or anything! My sweet, chubby, cheeky, affectionate little boy, has turned into bloody Horrid Henry!!!

Hmmm, having just read what ive written he sounds suspiciously like your average 7yo with his siblings maybe its me overreacting....

Sounds really similar to my 7 yr old ds with his 4 yr old sis! It is very wearing. Bizarrely she seems to take it in her stride and always wants to play with him, going back for more and more teasing and insults. We have the germ obsession too - he won't touch any food she has touched. I try to ignore if she doesn't seem upset but I do feel like telling him how mean he's being! And don't worry, I think your ds will have already forgotten you being angry - and tbh I can see why you did it. It sounds like he needed to be sent to his room and told his behaviour wasn't nice.

No you weren't overreacting, he was being horrid.

Hello everyone, although i know its not nice to 'loose it' ive had to smile at one or two things people have said here and in RL re there kids behavior towards siblings, older and younger! Had a brief chat with a lady today walk to school, her twins 7yo boys are in my ds2's class and they have a little brother whos just 5 and bless him he is ALWAYS crying because they terrorise the life out of him, call him names, push him about, i feel sooooooo so sorry for him, his mum goes mad at them, but they are the ABSOLUTE definition of double trouble! She said they are just horrible, rude and mean little sods - i had to chuckle as i said thats pretty much word-for-word what i yelled at ds last night! How on earth does anyone grow up loving there siblings?? lol. Anyway, i did go in and see ds again last night at around 11 ish and he woke up to get a drink, he saw me and just gave me a big hug, so i felt better, but theres always such a tug of war between giving them what for whenever they are rude and horrible, and feeling mean for telling them off jeez this parenting lark is bloody hard work (sigh)

Sure is Charlotte! I go through most days feeling like a monster or an angel - is there an in between?! Hope you are having a better day today!

Sometimes you have to have an outburst, especially if you've had the drip drip of bad behaviour for a while.
Clears the air- makes him think about how he behaved.
I thought you weren't particularly excessive....I have said worse in the heat of the moment.

Lol thanks girls do feel better today, we made up and it did clear the air, i have to add, hes been a little angel today (im cautiously impressed!) Thanks for cheering me up everyone! Wish there was an inbetween thelennox! Fingers crossed we all manage to raise happy, normal people