help!!!!

[jules45]

My son has just turned three and we started potty training 3 weeks ago, he is fine doing wees but he keeps pooing in his pants! not just once a day but upwards of 6 times a day! he just wont sit on the potty or toilet. He seems to know what he is doing and just says he wants to do them in his pants! I have tried star charts, sweets, and toys but nothing is happening. I am at my wits end, he is due to start nursery at a local school and they wont take him unless he is potty trained. Has anyone any tips for me! I would be so grateful to hear from anyone in the same situation.

Firstly, he is potty trained - just let them know he sometimes has 'accidents'. The nursery must not discriminate against a child because of this.

It is common for the pooing to be the last thing to do on the potty. All i can suggest is give him absolutely no attention when he does a poo in his pants, lead him by the hand to the bathroom and say you should have done that in the potty/toilet. Then get him as involved as you can in the clean up operation so her realises how boring it is!

Good luck!

thanks for the advice, I must admit I ended up downing a bottle of wine last night and despite feeling rough this morning have a much more positive outlook on all this, he has still used his pants this morning and I have taken him to the bathroom as you say he will get the hang of it sometime! thanks for the advice on the nursery side will bear that in mind.
thanks again.

jules - I am having the exact same problem as you!

Ds will be 3 on the 11th of september.We started training about two weeks ago and he has been brilliant weeing in it .....if he has no pants on.We have allowed himto be naked from the waist down to encourage him but it's getting ridiculous now.

i dressed him this morning and he promptlywent and pooed in his pants almost straight away.

i've tried leaving the nappy in the potty...He refuses .....tried bribery...useless.Must admit this morning I went a bit ballistic at him,totally not what you're supposed to do.I ended up in tears while my 13 yr old dd dealt with him.It is so annoying.I really thought leaving the training until this late stagewould make it easier,but I now feel the same pressure as you regarding nursery.I was told that they don't have to clean up a pooey mess and will probably call me if it happens .My ds also poos numerous times a day and it is rarely solid(pleasant!)

What about a cork up his bum while he's at nursery

any ideas anyone?

polly, thank god someone else has a child who poos constantly! today I have been putting him on and off the potty every half an hour, he has spent at least 20 mins a time, 5 mins after he comes of he poos again! I have been in tears so much lately and he just doesnt seem to mind. I just dont know where to go from here,friend suggested hubby take over for this weekend a thinks ds is winding me up? hubbys response oh well we will see! speak later

Have had a shit weekend in more ways than one!

Ds has spent all today clenching his buttocks ,wriggling around obviously wanting to do something then refusing to perform .

We were at a bbq today ,ds waited until we came home then pooed in his pants,literally one minute after I had quietly put the potty down next to him without a word because we are at the stage where he'll punch me if I ask him again.He shouts "no" before I've opened my mouth.He is definately doing it to piss me off.My friends also suggested my dh take a week off and train him....if only!

I am going to make an effort tomorrow not to keep reminding him to go,and to not say a word if he messes himself.Hope you're getting on better than me.

hi there, well since friday and the problems with pooing 6/7 times aday my ds is constipated! he hasnt done a thing since friday. took him to drs yesterday and she has prescribed a mild laxative to clear him out and hopefully sort out the probs, when she examined him he was very bunged up so we shall see, I am not looking forward to this though!

Oh poor you. I'm currently training DD - 2.5.
Poos in the potty were diefinately not happening the first coulple of weeks. Now they are about half the time. They seem to catch her much more unawares that weeing so somethimes she doesn't quite make it even if heading in the right direction. I seem to remember the same sort of thing with DS too.
Is your son uncomfortable when he has poo-ed himself? if so its at least moving in the right direction. the problem is when they don't seem bothered afterwards.

my ds finally went for a poo after 8 days!!!!! i was getting really worried he had been taking medicine to help him go for 5 days, but when he went boy did he go, have never seen such a load, except for a cow pat, but he seems very happy now so we will see what happens next at least we caught it in the potty, and he was so excited! hope all is well with you polly.

Well done jule's ds! Must ave been huge!!

I'm afraid to say I threw in the towel and put him back in nappies .
I really think he wasn't ready.He and I were sooo stressed over it and both of us were really in edge.this all sounds so melodramatic when it's in writing but it just ffelt horrible at the time.The final crunch came when I went into his room in the morning and he didn't smile and jump up as usual,he just looked away .I was quite upset by this so we had a big cuddle and I said how about we put a nappy on today and we'll go out.He didn't jump for joy or anything but didn't respond at all,howver things are now back to normal and ds is his normal lovely self.

i will just send him to nursery in a pull up and try again in a few weeks or months!?

Part of me regrets not persevering but I'm hoping it will all click next time.

gee, poor wee guy. Glad it is sorting out now. What did the doctor prescribe Jules?

Polly, try not to stress about the whole p/training issue, the more we push it and stress the kids into performing the more it can backfire. Often rewarding even just for sitting can encourage them, keeping it fun, and interesting, have them sit on the pot whilst watching a favourite programme perhaps. Always at the best time to produce a poo after a meal by about 20 minutes, if you can set a regular time for this it is ideal and is training the body for a regular time to poo!!

Try hard to not let the wee kids get constipated as it can create huge problems, if they pass a big hard grogan and it tears the anus (anal fissure)(extremely painful) it can cause them to begin to hold, then once that pattern begins things get worse. If held long enough,the bowel wall stretches, they lose the feeling of needing poo, on and on it goes, untill they constantly have liquid poo seeeping past the hard impacted poo.

LONG term medicine once that happens so do you damnest to prevent the constipation. Heaps of fruits and fluids.
Best wishes.