Teethbrushing trauma

[whippybamboo]

Hello all....does anyone else have a terrible time brushing their LO's teeth. My DS is 3 and has never enjoyed having his teeth brushed. Depending on his mood, he may sit in the bathroom and open his mouth and let me do it. This is fairly rare though and is always a surprise. More likely the whole experience is just traumatic for him and me. It has come to the point where I dread this part of the day and I hate brushing his teeth twice a day because I know that it's going to turn into a big struggle and in the end I have to kind of restrain him and hold his arms down....!!!! ARGHHHHH....I wsh he would just open his mouth because if he did it would only take a minute or so, The way we end up having to do it it turns into a stand off, takes ages and by the end I am sweating with effort, he's strong little boy.Also it depends on my patience levels on the day. This evening was awful, as I lost my temper a bit, feeling tired and also 39 + 3 pregnant, (BUT no excuse I am the adult), but I felt so frustrated and angry with him. I shouted at him and ended up having to pin his arms down and force teeth brushing. But I felt so bad like I was abusing him or something, and then he ends up doing that heart breaking sobbing thing, and I end up feeling like the worst, mst horrible mum and imagine that all the other mums somehow cope with this much better than me. Oh how the mother's guilt just kicks in....Maybe it's unrealistic to think that I can always stay patient...I mean does anyone always stay patient, in my end there are mythical mothers who do. Anyway excuse the long post....but does anyone else suffer this kind of guilt after losing it with their LO and how can we get aroung this hideous toothbrushing trauma that has become something to dread .

Whoops sorry for the spelling mistakes, typed it a bit fast and didn't review but you get the gist

DS is 3.7 and still buggers about at teeth brushing time. He has a chance to have a little brush himself then I finish them properly. Sometimes he sits nicely and sometimes I have him clamped between my legs with him on my lap with him hollering. He is getting better slowly though, I think he knows I win all the teeth brushing battles. He's good at the dentist though and happily lets them look .

I am mean when it comes to teeth as I don't have any fillings. My parents were strict when I was younger and I hated them at the time, but now at 36 with good teeth I am grateful they didn't let me get out of it.

You'd feel more guilty if you let him get away without having them brushed and he needed a filling!

It is a long road...

but we have just about reached a compromise with DD (3). We brush our teeth together so she can watch me do it. I let her do it herself in the morning and in the evening she starts and I finish. I make a game of it - 'who can open their mouth the widest', 'what did you have for dinner (reel off a list of what you can 'see' in their tummy)', 'can I see you toes' etc. Or we sing silly songs like 'this is the way you brush your teeth'. It has been difficult though, she still runs away sometimes and I did use to pin her down and do it - seemed the lesser of the two evils. At least when they are yelling their mouth is wide open!

Another thing that helps if you are doing the brushing is to stand behind them while they look in a mirror - I think it is less 'opressive' that way. And they can see what you are doing.

Guilt - yes, every time I have to discipline. Goes with the job as far as I can tell.

Teeth - had similar problem with 2 yr old. We allow her to brush her own teeth now, which she does less reluctantly, especially if we brush our own teeth at the same time to encourage and model how to do it. She doesn't do a great job but it's better than no brushing at all and at least we aren't having to force her any longer.

Mine are quite happy to let me brush their teeth to the CBeebies Toothbrush Song. I sing it, finishing up with loud spitting sounds which seems to appeal to 2yr and 4yr old boys .

Also I only make an issue of brushing their teeth at night - I let them do their own in the morning .

My son is 15mths old and was a nightmare with brushing but a friend suggested an electric toothbrush which worked a treat for a while.

Now he has electric and normal brushes and uses both. He brushes my teeth, we brush his toys teeth and eventually we get to do his. Although we do still have days where i have to hold him and brush them.

we play a game called guess the brusher with our ds (he's 12 -arrgh!) and he has to clsor his eyes and guess which teddy is doing his teeth. Sometimes works.

as some reassurance, my dentist said to me that the main thing at this age is to build teeth brushing into a routine, watch the amount of times they eat sugary snacks and to get some fluoride into them (when i went to him, guilty as ds1 has a couple of specks of plaque on his lower teeth at nearly 3 years old). when i started asking him about electric toothbrush versus manual, he said i was worrying about the wrong thing, i.e. technique.

but, a couple of things that work for me (sometimes!) is (a) plonk him in front of tv and brush whilst he watches tv. he is so distracted he just tends to sit with his mouth open (b) pretending there are animals in his mouth to find (another mumsnetter suggested that). i'm sure you've tried all of these things though.

i dread teeth brushing time too. opposite to bamboo, i make sure ds teeth are well cleaned in morning, when he isn't tired and slightly more co-operative.