quitting OU - need kind words :-(

[sunchild77]

Ive just decided to quit my OU course

Im finding it so so hard to find the time to do all the work. Its fascinating, I love it, but it is impossible to find the time and then I spend every weekend stressed out to the eyeballs, sat at the computer.

I have 2 Dcs and am early preggo with #3, very tired and hormonal (tears a lot of the time) I am full time mum and have no help at all with childcare.

Im doing U212 childhood, and it is really v interesting. I just cant juggle the TMAs and being a mummy. I feel such a fool for thinking this was possible

Talked to my tutor a couple of weeks ago and he was supportive, Ive not submitted 1 TMA, and he is ok with this (he says it will be fine under subsitution rule) But I just dont think I can carry on I feel like Im drowning, my latest TMA (5) was due last week. I just cant cope with the workload.

Am hoping that someone can tell me that they understand how upset I am at having to quit this. Its more than just a minor blip, I think Im done

Its shit isnt it Riven? Im sorry you had to quit too. I just want to better myself and get my degree, but feel it will never happen..

Bloody hormones I cant stop crying. I just feel so frustrated.

That's a shame. Is it your first course?

Its my first for a while fallen -last was in 2006 (level 1)

Ok so at this moment in time neither you nor Riven can do this but youve tried it,and in the future you can do it,at least your not thinking if only id tried it i might have done it.

Its not the end of the world its just 'on hold'.

sunchild77 why not think of it as deffering rather than quitting?

I did my degree at a 'proper' uni as a mature student over 6 years but my DDs were 8 and 5 when I started so it was easier for me to work when they went to bed. There is no reason why you can't pick this up again when your DCs are a bit older.

FWIW my DH has worked on his OU course on and off for years now and has decided to quit because of how miserable it makes him. He gets so stressed and his mood affects all of us. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.

Maybe once your new baby is a bit older you'll feel ready to be you again and be ready to carry on. Good luck.

How far into the course are you?

You may be able to get a refund on the course fees if you are only a couple of months in.

I started studying with OU when DD (my 3rd) was 6 months old, so I know how tough it can be. I failed one course, including the resit, and so had to do the whole year again.

Once your DC are a little bit older it will be easier to re-start. Don't give up on it altogether.

The way I did it was to only do the work for the TMAs. The timetable got put at the bottom of a large pile, I ignored all the bits in between, got the TMAs in on time and then revised like fury for three weeks before the exam.
I can see that for someone more conscientious it would be a struggle.
Perhaps you could read the books at your leisure, sign up again next year and then it won't all be new IYSWIM.

Im not that conscientious fallen and what you've described is what Ive been doing. I just feel like maybe I need some extra support. Maybe a brick uni is what I need. Its such bloody hard work! and I cant get peace to do it, ever.

Im pretty sure Im too far into the course to get a refund now domestic Anyway I got some of it paid for through learn direct (£500 I think) That doesnt make it any easier though

None of this is helped by the fact that I dropped out of my degree first time around. I have to keep telling myself Im not a failure, I have just made some shit choices...

Im just so so disappointed and frustrated this time around.

Like Riven said I wanted something just for me.

There will be time in the future for something just for you. It's just that now is not the right time. With two DC and a third one on the way, I honestly don't know how you could find time to study. I'm studying p/t at the moment - 5 years down, 2 to go! I get frustrated at how long it's taking, and how difficult it is to find time to concentrate, and that's just with the one DD

All the work you've done so far will stand you in very good stead when you pick it up again in the future. Just because you're not formally studying, doesn't mean you can't keep on reading and thinking, and getting well prepared for the next time you take on a course. Good luck!

Thank you bousy
My disappointment is not helped by being so full of pregnancy hormones

oh I so know how you feel and perhaps try and think of it as deferring rather than dropping out?

Beginning of last year I started my degree with Health and Social care with the OU. Managed to pass with a decent mark despite having missed 2 TMA's and the 6 weeks leading up to the exam not even picking up a book (I didn't even LOOK at the last Unit until I was on the bus to the exam) due to some pretty awful stuff that had happened at home.

Was feeling really optimistic even when I split up from exH and realised I'd be moving out 4 weeks into my 2nd course.

2 months in I realised I couldn't do it. There was just no way I was going to get through the course this year and so have dropped out.

BUT am intending to try again with the same course next year once my DS3 is that little bit older and my head sorted out properly.

toccatan that sounds very sensible, you sound happy with your decision.

My problem as always, is finance, I dont know if I could get funding to do it again, and I know we can't afford the £650 or whatever ourselves. sigh.

Its really fascinating stuff and I dont want to quit, but unless I can magic up a couple of child free days, I dont see how I can continue.

Really cant afford a childminder and have no family that are able to help.

Gosh this sounds so "woe is me". But Im SO SO gutted

I am now - but I was gutted when I first made the decision - I realised "something" have to give, and that something ended up being my course. It was incredibly hard, but now I've realised that it was the best decision for me.

Are you sure you wouldn't qualify for financial assistance from them in the future, irrc exH would have had to earn over around £25k per annum (had we stayed together) before we would have had to start paying for my course at all (with 3 children).

I believe you can also pay in instalments as well.

Thanks for the advice toccatan I will look into that in about a year or so.

Sunchild - just thought I would pop in here and support you. Down the line if you go to bricks and mortar college/uni you can normally get some childcare etc so please dont feel that it is over.