What's a 4 year age gap like?

[lonelyonly]

Have I left it too late to conceive dc2? DS is 3 will be 4 at end of this year, meaning there would be a 4 yr age gap at least between my children. Is this too much for them to really play with eachother or will there be a different dynamic between them because of a larger age gap?

Do they fight more or have a good relationship? (Probably a lot to do with personalities rather than age gap though.)

DS will be at full time school before any sibling came along wich would be good to have time alone with the little one during the day.

I worry that ds may have trouble adapting because we have left it so long. Or am I worrying over nothing?!

So what's a 4 year age gap like, how do they iterract with eachother? How did you find it going back to the baby bit after 4 years?

I am eeling very guilty at the moment for wanting another baby and I don't want ds to feel left out or anything because he has been the centre of our world for so long.

I had my first DS in Nov 2005 and number 2 April 2009.
3 and half years and its bloody lovely.

I had to stay in for 10 days in SCBU due to an early arrival and even that didn't phase the big one. He visited every day and loved baby from day one and thankfully we have never had any jealousy. My only advice is to involve the little one in as much as you can so they don't feel pushed out. My big one came to scans and helped decorate the nursery etc and he felt so important and big brother ish he loved it.

Absolutely not too late and my boys are now almost 5 and 15 months and adore each other.

I have loved it and am glad I didn't rush it but then saying that we are now thinks of a 3rd and then we'll be 5 and half years from oldest to youngest. My sis is 8 years older than me and one of my best friends so am not too worried.

You'll be fine.

There is a 4yr4month gap between my sister and I.

My mum says she found it good to be able to enjoy me as a baby, whilst my sister was at school, and my sister loved having a baby to look after.

We got on really well throughout our childhood, I remember her really looking after me and always being there for me, and we played together all the time. I was bolder than she was and so used to lead her into trouble (the good kind!) a lot.

When I left college, we shared a flat for a few years and it was fantastic.

We are both in our 40s now, she is my dds cool aunty, and one of my best friends, I adore her.

I have a 4 year gap between my younger two Dc's and it has worked out fine!

Dd had not long been in reception when Ds 2 came along.

It was nice to be able to concentrate on the baby alone through the day, Dd was old enough to understand that baby needs alot of time, we were able to explain things to her, she loved to help too, passing nappies etc.

Now she is 6 and he is 21 months its lovely to watch them play together, they don't fight as such because of the age difference, obviously Dd kknows its not right to fight with a toddler! She does wind him up at times though, taking things from him, teasing him, but on the whole he loves to join in and do anything she is doing!

I say go for it, your Ds will adapt, he will gain so much from having a sibling!

There is 4yrs 1mth between DS1 and DS2. They are now almost 7 and almost 3. They do play nicely together some of the time, and they also fight. But I would think they possibly fight less than those closer in age. DS1 can be so weet teaching his brother things and helping him out. It is lovely to see.

My kids have a 4 and a half year age gap, I think its a great gap. They dont fight very often and my eldest enjoyed helping me to care for his little brother. He still likes to look after him now and read him stories

It was also good that i could concentrate on my youngest whilst DS1 was at school. Wasnt much jealousy from DS1 either.

I have a 4 year 1 month gap. I planned a much smaller gap - 2 years but things didn't go according to plan.

I have to say though that, so far (DD2 is only 15 months) it has been fantastic. DD1 was desperate for a sibling to start with so that obviously helped but she was able to understand exactly what was going on and they absolutely adore each other. There has never been any jealousy from DD1 (yet).

For me, yes it was a bit hard goin back to nappies and night wakings (more so because dd2 was/is not a good sleeper !) but on the flip side you have time to do stuff with the second one and I am doing all the same things I did with dd2 as I did with dd2 which I wouldn't have been able to with a smaller gap.

Obviously I envisage times when the 4 year gap will be a problem as they grow up (particularly in the teenage years - but then I have 2 girls).

I really don't think its a problem. What I learnt from obssessing about age gaps as my gap got wider and wider was that each age gap has good points and bad points.

Go for it - if you want to !

Thanks for sharing your experiences. It sounds a lot less traumatic than I have been imagining! I just hope that ds doesn't feel jelous and hate his baby brother or sister.

I will involve him as much as possible to try and prevent this from happening.

I was just really concerned that most people seem to have a much smaler age gap but the truth is I would just not have felt ready to have another baby before now. DS still seemed so much of a baby and I was so busy all the time, I really don't know how people do it with a smaller gap. Or maybe I am just hopeless!

My twin sisters and I also had a 4 year age gap and are now the best of friends. Was also close as children. I was jealous when they were born but i think that was more to do with there being 2 of them! And they needed extra care as they were premature.

DD was born 6 weeks ago, and DS turned 4 three weeks ago. Very early days but so far DS absolutely adores his sister, no hint of jealousy yet, and is always wanting to cuddle and kiss her. I do hope it lasts!

Am glad that I will have some time with DD when he starts school in a few weeks.

Oh and the lack of sleep would only really bother me if it disturbed ds because he is one of them children who sleeps perfectly, 12 hours a night. If for any reason he doesn't get enough sleep, he is truly horrid to be around! That is a worry too because ds slept through so early that I really think I won't get that again this time.

I have a 4 year 3 month age gap bewtween my two Dss and I'd say it is just about perfect. DS1 was old enough to 'help' with DS2 and I think it made him feel a bit grown up. he was old enough to understand why I couldn't be at his beck and call like I had been when it was just him but I made a point of doing special treats just for him so he knew he was still special.

They absolutely adore each other. Yes they do fight at times as DS2 is a bit of a wind up merchant but usually they get on really well. They seem to like a lot of the same things which helps. The only thing is that DS2 sort of grew up a lot quicker in many ways than DS1. He went straight from Winnie the Pooh to Power Rangers because that's what his brother was into. No jealousy at all from DS1 and he even started talking about when I had DC3 (no way!!!).

Mine are 7 and 2 and have been playing happily together all morning.

Oh fantastic thank you everyone for reassuring me.

Ds is a pretty good boy, very grown up although he has his 'toddler moments' as long as I give him a lot of attention and praise then he is extremely well behaved. I don't know how he would be if my attention was on the baby, he may turn into a monster because he is simply not used to entertaining himself!

I think I may have indulged him a little too much with my time and attention so I hope he will adjust OK. Yes I know it's my fault for spoiling him but with him being our only child I felt it's what I should be doing.

That said, I think he would love to be a big brother, he is very caring. Although he seems to have it in his head that he wants a little sister, not a little brother, I think I need to have a chat to him about him not being able to choose!