DD's first invitation to a birthday party - present etiquette?!

[dontrunwithscissors]

DD (3) has been invited to her first birthday party. (I'm so excited - pathetic I know.) I don't know what to do with regard to presents, though. It's a little boy (turning 3), who goes to the same childminder as her. I've only ever met him/his Mum once. Do I:

a) Buy a present, but include the receipt.
b) Buy a gift voucher for his Mum to buy something for him.
c) Don't buy a present at all.

I'm thinking a, but don't have a clue. Also, any suggestions as to an appropriate amount to spend, or what 3 year old boys like?

I'm going shopping this afternoon - any help gratefully received!

ah! buy him a present - ask his mum what he's into though

I would buy a present I think - more fun than a gift token. Any chance you could ring your cm and ask her what the little boy is into? If not, I'd say books are always a safe choice.

I've never included, or received, a receipt with a gift for a friend.

Spend - depends on your budget, but I'd say between £5-10 is 'normal' round here.

Buy a present but say to the mum, something along the lines of - "if it isn't suitable/little boy doesn't like it, then I still have the receipt, I can change it if you want?"

We usually spend between £5-£10.

Ask the CM what he likes, but a book is always good, and Harry and the Dinosaurs always goes down well, or an Emily Gravett

5-10 pounds is normal here too - most people keep to an actual spend of 5 though.

Don't worry about receipts

Hope your dd enjoys the party too

I vot a), and if you wanted to include the receipt then put it in a separate envelope and hand it to the parents.

I wouldn't spend too much as he's bound to have loads of presents from closer family and friends and this is only your DD's first party, there will be many others - don't get into any kind of present warfare between the parents now as it will only escalate! The idea of a present in this circumstance is really more symbolic than meant to give anything of real value - you know there'll be nothing he actually needs, so a little token of friendship is fine.

IMO, 3 year old boys and girls don't differ too much, so you can choose something that you know DD would like.

In case you were wondering, I also vote a) - DH was holding DD at the computer with a drink next to it, she knocked it over and now the keyboard's stuck!

Present - but be prepared for the fact that they may not even be opened during the party (depends a bit on the party, but DD's first visit to a party was a bouncy castle affair and all presents ended up in a big pile, not even being handed over properly)

Definitely buy a gift - but not a big one. I tend to stick to a budget of between £5-£10 - usually on the lower side of that range. I wouldn't worry too much about asking what he's into, but would stick with a nice book, jigsaw or game. You can say to the mother when you arrive that if he already has it to let you know and you will exchange it. (i.e. keep it in a drawer for the next party your daughter is invited to and buy something else instead!) Chances are though - she won't say anything even if they do already have it and at that age 2 books the same is no biggie. In fact, 2 jigsaws/games the same is often a good thing if it's well loved as pieces go missing, or alternatively one can be sent to Granny's house for when he visits there. Tesco are great for wee book packs for a fiver, or for bogof on other kids books.

You should start a drawer of things you pick up when they're on offer which can be used whenever you need them! I have 2 drawerfuls at present because I bought loads from The Book People in my last order and Tesco had a big shelf of Manager's Specials with stuff reduced to a few quid which I bought and am slowly getting through as party invites arrive!

Great advice, thanks very much. I'll start looking out for bargains to stock up on, too.