playdates why does it feel so hard

[piglettower]

Hi
ds is 9 and an only and because of this I do try and arrange playdates for him at school.
However I am finding the whole business very disappointing and thankless.
Its some of the parents when I have approached them they say that they are not sure whatshifts they are on and can we leave it till next week.
I don,t chase it up but maybe I should, I am not sure if they are waiting for me to make the move or as to whether I am been fobbed off.
I would like to ask again but would hate to think that I am making a nuisance of myself and that they simply don,t want to bother with playdates.
What should I do in this situation do I ask again or not or just leave it be.
It all feels so hard I have text people but not got a reply.
What do you think.

It's not just you, the whole playdates thing is a nightmare.. I would ask twice, and then let it drop. If they are interested, they can ask. Persevere, you will find nice friendly ones eventually. A lot of parents just can't be arsed, it's not personal.

A friend of mine once asked a mum if her ds wanted to come for a playdate and was told No, he doesn't go on playdates. Ever.

There's weirdoes aplenty out there.

I think at 9 really your ds should ask his mates if they would like to come round,and get them to ask their parents..A playdate sounds so formal ..does he not play with the neighbours kids?

No suspect he doesn,t play with anyone in the neighbourhood at all.

I agree that by 9 they tend to do less formal arranged things, and more dropping round.

The exceptions in dd's school are what you might describe more as informal childcare (one of dd's friends often comes to us when her parents have to work late), and 'treats'. A few times dd has been invited by a friend's parent to go with them to the cinema, and we've done the same in holidays.

Maybe different where you are (or maybe you're younger), but I wouldn't be keen on arranging by text unless I knew the family well, I would tend to phone or speak in person to the other parent (generally after dd has asked first to see if the friend is keen).