Does anyone else feel days out with kids are easier alone (i.e. not with other friends)?

[Daffodilly]

I have two little one (1 yr and 3 yrs). If I take them out for a day/to park on my own we usually have a nice time. They have my full attention and we go at their pace. Lovely and relaxing outing to the park like this today.

Often however we try to meet up with friends with similar age kids or with relations with/without kids. It is always so much harder work. Yes the kids play together a bit and I like the adult company. However DD acts up to get my attention more, I am juggling them and trying to hold an adult conversation, I feel pulled in too many directions and exhausted/stressed by the end of it.

Does anyone else feel this way? I think it would be wrong to limit our group outings as we all need to socialise, but in some ways I am tempted!

I can totally see why you feel this way. I often have similar experiences. For me, the good outweighs the bad, but if it's not doing so for you, I don't see why it would be wrong to limit the group outings. Not like you're proposing to retreat into seclusion totally or permanently!

I agree totally! And for a few years just limited the things we did with other people. Bear in mind that everything has a "season" and that what suits you and your little ones is actually the most important thing.

Yes. The key is about going at their pace. I recently spent a long weekend (4 days) with my in-laws, and they're really kid-friendly, love my daughter (19 months) to death, want to work around us, etc. But there's still social expectations there, and working to more than one schedule is tricky.

If I'm out with my daughter I know how long I can push it till she needs a nap and not worry about anyone else's schedule. I can sit in the park for hours clutching a coffee without worrying if my friend or their child is cold. I can let her take my hand and pull me over to where she wants to go, without worrying about interrupting a conversation.

When I'm with friends, it becomes a negotation - A needs lunch but E needs a nap, my friend wants to look around a shop but my child is 3 months older or younger and therefore exactly at the wrong age to tolerate it, etc., etc.

Even playgroup, which I go to once a week, I feel like I'm always leaving a bit early or not joining in properly because my kid's the youngest and often doesn't want to do the Craft or whatever. It's silly, probably, but extant.

I agree totally - I can never understand people who are always desperate to take a friend on holiday with them - older children obviously - my DD is an only child but she usually manages to make friends wherever we go, or we enjoy our own company, without worrying about someone else's child!

Without a doubt. I try and make sure we do a bit of both.

Eating in a restaurant or cafe is an absolute pleasure with just me and one or both of my children. It is a fraught necessity when out with friends.

I agree. Also there is that whole 'well we are allowed to do/eat/buy that' and I dont (or do0 want my children to, different standards of behaviour expected etc. Exhausting!

God yes, it's much easier when you're in charge and don't need to consider other people's weird foibles needs.

Should be weird foibles. Have I got it right this time?

I totally agree. Mine are 7 and 9 now, and it's only recently (last year or so) that I have found joint activities easier than on our own

Meant to say, IME this age 1 and 3 is one of the hardest periods of parenting - one nearly a toddler, the other still a toddler. do what you need to to get through it ....

It's really hard work when they are little like this. But I also think it is worth doing from time to time so they remember who the other children are. I find that now they are 4 + , I get to sit and chat, only occasionally interrupted by handing out snacks and drinks and top up the sun cream. Occasionally DH and I borrow other children to take to the beach or park or on country walks so we can get a bit of uninterrupted conversation.

So glad I am not the only one that feels this way. What a relief - I am not an anti-social cretin who is going to bring up her children to become the same (or if I am then I'm not alone).

Tis just so much easier to do MY thing, MY way to suit MY family.

Good to know as they get older it will improve though.