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5yr old DD rude and belligerent behaviour

3 replies

Tryingvhard · 24/06/2010 18:22

First time poster so hope I do this right.

Am getting to the end of my tether with my beautiful, bright, lively but feisty five year old.

She is wearing us down at the moment; she's belligerent, rude and full of backchat. I can?t believe the tone of voice she uses sometimes ? mainly reserved for me and DH (thankfully at the moment, others seem to escape it). I really want to nip this in the bud before she turns into a brat. She's been like this for a good few months, and every time we feel like we're getting somewhere it goes downhill again.

For example, this afternoon she had a friend home from school and it ended up (after a few instances of backchat which I'd pulled her up on) hitting her sister twice, throwing her doll's pram, calling me horrid and blatantly not listening when I asked her to stop. I'm embarrassed to admit I lost it. I ended up manhandling her upstairs (she refused to go when asked)and taking her entire marble jar away. We've only been doing this 2 weeks and it was working last week . As mentioned, I have a younger daughter which, admittedly, makes things a little tricky on playdates as she wants to get involved in everything the older ones do. However, I cannot let DD1 get away this beahviour to ME or her sister.

What exactly do you do / say when your child is rude to you? And, also when they do it when they have friend(s) round? Her poor friend looked terrifed by the end of the episode.

Friends say their children are the same, but I swear DD1 is worse. Hope this makes sense -writing at speed as trying to tidy up before bath, but wanted to post this as I feel so fed up / rubbish at the way she's behaving and I'm handling it (or not).

Any help / ideas / strategies for improving rudeness gratefully received.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
janx · 24/06/2010 19:52

I think alot of it comes from school to be honest - my 5 year old dd has developed a line in backchat and can be rude. Whether or not she has a friend around I do not tolerate it - if she has a friend around I might say "I am sure xxx doesn't want to hear you being so rude to me - I bet she doesn't talk to her mum like that" - I also do some ignoring - so if she demands something - I would say sorry were you talking to me I couldn't understand you.
I am sure your dd is no worse than mine

Tryingvhard · 26/06/2010 21:44

Thanks Janx. I'm sure she isn't the worst but it does feel like it at times. Others have mentioned in the last few days that it could be her age (started reception in Sept)and her way of gradually finding her place in the class.

Who knows?! Anyway will persevere with the marble jar; she's been a bit better over the weekend so will see how we go.

OP posts:
sausageandbeans · 28/06/2010 19:55

I have a 4 year old ds (almost 5) who sounds very similar, looking on mumsnet for reassurance that I am not failing in the parenting role as feels like it at the mo. Ds teachers have said that at this time of year reception children get a bit big for their boots and need to move to year 1, I'm praying that this is it. The main focus for him is me which is hard as it feels personal, also have younger dd who is at a very sweet age which does not help her getting lots of positive feedback and ds lots of negative. I work with children and adults with challenging behaviour and the focus is ignore the bad and over praise the good. That is my focus for tomorrow - although at times hard to put into practice. Good luck - I often repeat to myself it is all a phase!www.mumsnet.com/te/1.gif

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