at the end of my tether

[xkatyx]

Please help, if anyone has got any advice i would very much apprecitae it.

My daughter is 4 years old and up untill about 2-3 months has been the perfect sleeper, went to bed no fuss, we have always had the same routine, bath, cuddle, story , bed and nothing has changed.

She has become a nightmare she screams when ita bed time, throws her self on the floor, refuses to do a wee, when i finally get her into bed, as soon as i read her a story she sais she is not going to bed and cries, and is in and out of bed crying for ages, and she is up far to early (she used to wake about 8) and now its about 6am, through out the day it is constant crying, temper tantrums because of this, it's getting so bad i am avoiding taking her places as all out family outings are cut short because of her behaviour.

please help

Our DD1 has always been a nightmare sleeper! But consequently we've got quite good at adapting what we do when she seems to need a change. Sometimes the change is counter-intuitive (eg when they're refusing to sleep, trying a half hour earlier bedtime because they've missed their 'sleep gate' rather than because they're not tired enough). But as she's 4 (DD1 is 4 too) you at least have the option to talk to her about it. Will she talk about how she feels about stuff or does she clam up in the spotlight? Kids react so differently to being put on the spot.

Something I've found that works as a general problem solving thing (and yes, is pretty lentil-weaving and may not be your bag) is to suggest writing down ideas of how to make something better. So a 'bedtimes aren't much fun at the moment, how do you think we can make them better?' followed by writing a list of stuff to try (no veetos allowed til you've both written down all ideas, however mad). You might find that something really simple is bothering her, like she's suddenly become scared of a particular shadow, or that now she's a very grown-up 4yr old she would like a bit more flexibility on what she does at bedtime or the order she does it. DD1 sometimes wants to do a bit more quiet playing in her room instead of having a book, so we put a 10 minute timer on, and she loves that autonomy.

Because DD1 has always been a been an erratic sleeper we're used to patterns suddenly changing, so you're probably not going to want to hear that kids do sometimes just change for apparently no reason beyond that they're now 6mths/2/5/a day older. 6am isn't ideal obviously, and sleep deprivation is hell for everyone. Maybe in the short term working a 'chill-out/quiet time' into the day to help with her tiredness?

Sorry this is all a bit rambling but I hope there's maybe something in there that's worth a try.